tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42069690313166448782024-03-14T02:36:51.792-07:00A Voracious MindA journey into unschooling my profoundly gifted boysAmy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-252031784168342362014-09-28T00:00:00.001-07:002014-09-30T23:07:51.197-07:00Save the Gifted<div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>P</b>arents generally know their children are gifted from a very early age, far before any formal testing is administered or even necessary. Most of us who have babies that are early talkers with sophisticated vocabulary and proper use of grammar mechanics get clued in that our children are different from the norm. When we read the baby development milestone checklists and nothing truly is relevant, the awareness becomes solidified in our minds. As people in the outside world stare, marvel and comment on the precociousness of our children and offer unsolicited educational advice while our children are still in diapers, the signs become pretty obvious; however, it is what we do with all this information about who are children are that matters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I</b> just described our early years and yet I didn't advocate for my child properly when we first sought out and participated in the traditional schooling experience. I didn't adequately vocalize my children's unique needs because the word gifted is taboo and apparently, a turn off to many educators and admissions directors which therefore needs to be skirted around carefully so as not to hurt any one's feelings or come off like a pushy parent. I didn't aggressively fight for my child's extraordinary learning needs because I was just too trusting that he would get his educational needs met within the school environment. I was a neophyte back then and my kid paid the price. </span><br />
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<b>T</b>hough private preschool was an unnecessary but passable experience, the local "good charter school" was an entirely different story. Once again, my efforts to speak to administrators and teachers were thwarted since they "don't test until third grade and there is no GATE (gifted and talented education) program until middle school." So, essentially no one cares about gifted kids until they are tweens which pretty much sheds light on how clueless the school system is when it pertains to gifted children. Our children certainly are gifted before they hit adolescence and they tend to be <strike>intense</strike> gifted 24/7 kind of like breathing. In fact, if we don't advocate properly for our children while they are young and rapidly developing their minds, discovering their identity and establishing their place in the world, then we will do them a huge, sometimes irreparable disservice.</span><br />
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<b>T</b>he traditional school system is replete with inadequacies and their lack of awareness of what it truly means to be gifted highlights their ignorance when it comes to how gifted children learn and experience the world. I am sure there may be a few schools out there that understand moderately gifted children, their <a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2013/05/gifted-overexcitabilities-and.html" target="_blank">overexcitabilities and asynchronicity</a> but they are not widely available and most are incapable of accommodating a profoundly gifted (PG) child. Those of us with PG kids need to suck it up and figure it out pretty quickly or the repercussions will permeate the home life and damage the child. Gifted education is not focused on when teacher training is happening as administrative matters are the priority. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When special needs training occurs, it specifically carves out the unique needs of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) children. Teachers and administrators are not educated nor capable of attending to the complex needs of 2e children, who are both gifted and learning disabled and suffer greatly in a traditional school environment. Parents are the ones who end up bearing the responsibility to become educated about what it means to be gifted or 2e and they will be the ones to spend countless hours reading, researching, attending support groups and advocating for their gifted or 2e child. It is time well spent but not every parent is aware enough or capable of teasing out the unique characteristics of their gifted child and determining what are the appropriate social-emotional, psychological and educational needs of their children. Many parents end up seeking the guidance of professionals and are burdened by the out-of-pocket costs that neither the state nor their health insurance will cover. So, while it is an interesting experience parenting a gifted child, it can also be both confusing and expensive and not everyone is able to handle the intensity that pervades daily life. Gifted intensity can wreak havoc on a family and is generally not embraced by teachers; throw in some overexcitabilities and a huge dose of asynchronicity and you have a recipe for disaster.</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">G</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ifted children waste a tremendous amount of time in a traditional classroom. A PG child not only wastes </span><span id="docs-internal-guid-d1ce63cc-c79d-f2f6-8d33-66608f91bea1"><span style="font-family: Georgia; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">100% of their time in a classroom, but they can also develop behavioral issues, apathy toward learning, a distrust of adults and may suffer from psychological damage including exacerbation of anxiety. I speak from real-life experience. PG kids are at-risk in a school environment and it is neglectful, borderline abusive, to force them to stay in <strike>prison</strike> school. PG kids are full of potential but their future diminishes the longer they spend time dumbing down or conforming to the mediocre expectations forced upon them in a standard classroom. </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is not uncommon for a misunderstood gifted child to be both pathologized and punished in school which often leaves the child feeling helpless and tarnishes their psyche. We, and countless other families that I work with, have experienced this abuse and </span><a href="http://www.sengifted.org/programs/seng-misdiagnosis-initiative" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">misdiagnosis</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> firsthand. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even worse is when they get medicated so that they can sit still and endure the banal curriculum solely to make them more palatable to their teachers. Some PG kids are labeled with multiple erroneous disorders and are never acknowledged as the intelligent outliers that they are. This is a heartbreaking reality.</span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My kid was becoming a cautionary tale. I had to act quickly. </b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">O</span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">n my child's way out of the broken public school system in Los Angeles, he did a layover at a progressive school that repaired him socially and psychologically which was just what he needed to become a whole, happy person again. He didn't learn anything and despite his extreme mathematical abilities that exceeded what any teacher there could nurture, he was never included in the advanced math groupings. At this school I advocated more but they just were not equipped to handle a child like mine. What is a stressed out mother to do with her PG son who embodies extreme asynchronicity, maxes out all five of </span><a href="http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/overexcitability-and-the-gifted" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">Dabrowski's overexcitabilities</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> and engages in argument for sport? Enter </span><strike style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">homeschooling</strike><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, </span><strike style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">unschooling</strike><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, radical unschooling. </span><b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2014/03/change-environment-not-kid.html" target="_blank">Radical unschooling</a></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> is the only option for us whether we were prepared for it or not. Fortunately, it fits us like a glove. Am I advocating for my child? I get on my soap box daily and fight for all gifted children by educating parents about alternative educational choices when their children cannot and should not endure school.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>P</b>rofoundly gifted children, in particular, thrive with </span><a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2014/04/push-academics-and-children-will-hate.html" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">self-directed learning</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Their accelerated minds never stop and they generally learn on their own terms. For some children, clandestine learning is a unique attribute that personalizes their experience of acquiring and assimilating knowledge. Trying to push uninteresting academic material on a PG kid may end up in a power struggle that could be easily avoided if that child is given the freedom to let his mind wander. Advocating for my children means that I am providing them with the safety and freedom to express themselves fully while they engage in that which interests them rather than forcing them to endure the boredom and conformity that is omnipresent in traditional schools. PG kids are natural non-conformists which is a trait I both respect and support. I am not trying to make them become a preconceived version of who they are meant to be. My role is to facilitate and support their development while embracing their individuality. They are autonomous human beings living on their own terms and creating their own unique path which is celebrated rather than punished. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No matter how much we advocate for our gifted children, schools are only willing to go so far to accommodate them at the minimal level required. I want more for our unique, intense children and merely tolerating them is not acceptable to me. </span><br />
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<b>M</b>y version of advocacy is to highlight that alternative education is often an optimal fit for gifted children. I would take it a step further and say that interest-led learning with a strength based approach is preferable to any forced academics at home or elsewhere. Passion-led, interest-led, child-led, self-directed learning which are all terms that embody the same unschooling sentiment, allow children time to discover their interests and delve as deeply as they need to go while they figure out how they learn best. Unschooling requires a shift in mindset for many new parents and radical unschooling extends the notion of freedom to the whole child beyond just the educational component. With this approach, children are truly guiding their own lives and they turn to us for support as needed. As the parent, I may attempt to influence or guide them but my children make their own choices. It is not always smooth sailing but it is real life at its finest. I am not worried about how they will fare in the real world as we are living in it right now. Radical unschooling is nothing more than authentic living and meaningful learning all day long. We don't stop learning because a bell tells us it is time to switch gears; if we are focused and engaged on an activity, it is all consuming and it ends when our minds are satiated. This unschooling journey is enjoyable for parents as well. Our days aren't stressful and I have ample time to read, write, research and expand my knowledge while engaging with my children. Though some days the intensity is all consuming, we are an extremely close and deeply connected family.</span><br />
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<b>N</b>ot all lifestyles allow for a parent to stay at home with their child; however, if the opportunity is available to you then consider opening up your mind to a different parenting and educational approach. You just might be surprised to discover who your child truly is and what he is capable of when he is provided with the opportunity to engage in limitless, personalized learning. The goal for "normal" children may be to make them well-rounded human beings that stagnate at a moderate level across multiple domains; however, gifted children are excellent specialists so support their passions and let them fly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This Blog is part of a<a href="http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_gifted_advocacy.htm" target="_blank"> Blog Hop on Gifted Advocacy:</a></span><br />
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<a href="http://homeschoolinghatters.blogspot.ca/2014/09/gifted-advocacy.html"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img src="http://www.brainblogfeed.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/blog_hop_next_small.jpg" /></span></a>Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-77700164438502148012014-09-15T09:00:00.000-07:002014-09-28T11:42:22.605-07:00Appreciate Eccentricities & Embrace Quirks<div>
<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>P</b></span>arent the child you have, not the one you imagined you would have. I am not sure anyone's child is quite what they envisioned when they thought about having children but as the saying in preschool goes, you get what you get and you don't get upset. You can't predict your child's personality and temperament but you can adjust your own expectations and figure out how to be the parent your child needs. Some of us learn the hard way. It took bricks falling onto my head years ago for me to wake up and realize that my child's idiosyncracies weren't going away and, in fact, needed some pretty unique support. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">M</span></b>any new parents with young children who exhibit developmentally advanced characteristics presume their children are gifted and they are probably right. Oftentimes parents are very good assessors of their children's abilities. There are a clear set of characteristics that demonstrate giftedness and the reason it is important to know whether your child truly is gifted is that it will change your entire life. It doesn't just mean they are smart and it will not mean they are academically successful in a traditional school environment. You will have to parent differently, consider alternative educational options, seek out mentors as they mature and develop and in some instances counseling will be in order as well. There are so many facets that make up a gifted child and a different approach to parenting cannot be understated. For a gifted child to develop optimally, awareness of the gifted child's unique temperatment and abilities is quintiessential to helping support and nourish them in the way that they need. Identification does not necessarily need to be obtained through a standard written instrument like the popular WISC IV or Stanford Binet 5 tests that are often administered when seeking out an IQ number. The number one gets on a test becomes relevant when entering certain gifted programs and therefore is a necessary evil but I am personally not a fan of these methods as the only relevant way to assess gifted children. I am a bigger proponent of the The Method of Qualitative Assessment</span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"> developed by the late, great Annemarie Roeper. She had a philosophy of meeting with and assessing the whole child through observation. She was a progressive thinker and way ahead of her time. I am pretty sure that she would appreciate unschooling as a viable choice for educating gifted children.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">W</span></b>e do; however, often have the child we were meant to parent. Mick Jagger may have been right. You get what you need. That sentiment resurfaces for me throughout my own life journey. What I envisioned for myself may also have been different than what I actually need. I didn't plan for this alternative, against the mainstream path but my children, circumstances and increasing awareness have brought me here. I love it now and do not look back in fondness at the years my unidentified gifted child was enduring the boredom of school with the psychological torture and behavioral developments that sprouted from the worst mismatch in environment that one could imagine.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>G</b></span>ifted children are often noticeably different in their interests, mannerisms, sense of humor, social development, emotional expression, and, of course, in their advanced and depthful intellectual abilities. A gifted child may have a lot of quirks. Embrace them; don't patholog</span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">ize quirks and don't let your school do that for you either. My own children are quite eccentric and our home environment and lifestyle afford them the opportunity to be just who they are. Too much rigidity in parenting a gifted child may suppress their curiosity, creativity and zeal for life. I may not always understand what motivates them to engage in some of their puzzling behaviors but I appreciate their unique qualities and foster authenticity. They are who they are and I am not in the business of stifling creative expression. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>D</b></span>ifferent neurological wiring, <a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2013/05/gifted-overexcitabilities-and.html" target="_blank">overexcitabili</a></span></span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; text-align: center;"><a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2013/05/gifted-overexcitabilities-and.html" target="_blank">ties</a> and <span style="color: #0000ee;"><u><a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2013/05/gifted-overexcitabilities-and.html" target="_blank">asynchronicity</a></u></span> inherent in gifted children are what make them such a different type of challenge in terms of parenting and education. We need a short way to describe the multitude of quirks and eccentricities that most gifted children espouse, or we would have to provide others who engage with them with a fairly long narrative in order to make sense. Whenever my child used to be in a classroom, the first day I would have to provide the new teacher with a breakdown of all the idiosyncracies she was about to experience with my child and no matter how much I prepared them, they were always baffled and underprepared. <a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2014/03/not-all-children-are-gifted-stop.html" target="_blank">Gifted</a></span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; text-align: center;">, like all labels, succinctly describes this vast set of attributes that go hand-in-hand with virtually all gifted children and they become even more pronounced with profoundly gifted and twice exceptional children. E</span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; text-align: center;">ven within the traditional school setting, the gifted label is shunned and misunderstood; however, in theory, it sheds light on the uniqueness of the child as compared to the norm. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I </b></span>get it now and if you are reading this, you either get it too or are on the path to realization. The lightbulb turns on at some point when your children just don't fit into the mold of the Everykid. I would never have put my child through the torture of school if I knew then what I know now to be the truth about gifted children and learning. I want a Mulligan. School is oppressive and banal for gifted children and it is a mental prison. I would never advise any parent to send their gifted child to school if they had any other alternative. It is cruel and unusual punishment and most kids will either dumb down to fit in or they will develop behavioral problems and acquire pathological labels because they just won't conform and perform to the baseline standard and they shouldn't have to. Both cases are a sad, unfortunate truth for many gifted children. The few others that come through unscathed are no better off for enduring the time wasting boredom that is school. Those that survive school are still not reaching their optimal development and may never become self-actualized. Awareness of one's self is an essential ingredient in personal fulfillment and gifted children tend to be acutely aware of their short comings and dissatisfaction with life when it doesn't unfold as expected. Experiencing existential depression is a sad reality for many unfulfilled gifted children who coast through life without enjoying an authentic, meaningful and productive existence. For us, radical unschooling has alleviated the burden of in the box thinking, rote memorization, coercive learning and controlling parenting. Our unconfined lifestyle has removed anxiety, bullying and the need to dumb down to fit in. We aren't trying to fit in anywhere. My kids are self-directed, passion-driven learners who march to the beat of their own drum. They are funny little kooks with big personalities and they express themselves freely and openly with no judgment. No adult is the authority over my children; they are autonomous, freethinkers capable of managing their own lives. It is a different approach to parenting and education and as the gifted definition states, these two modifications are a requirement. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">This Blog is part of a <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/.../giftedness-why-matters/" target="_blank">Blog Hop on Giftedness</a>:</span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-71126193613062919802014-08-27T21:09:00.001-07:002014-09-15T17:18:33.864-07:00Hackademic Living<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">I</span></b> am pretty sure most people wouldn't last more than an hour around my family when we are at home in our <i>normal </i>state. We are intense every moment of the day. There is no downtime when the house is dominated by family members who are overly verbose, high in intellectual and psychomotor overexcitabilities and everyone is supercharged at once. It is a cacophony of bizarre chaos and it is relentless. We channel intensity; it is an ongoing condition. Nobody seems to take turns being extreme. Our energy can be too much for some but others seem to gravitate toward it. Those people we call friends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">P</span></b>arenting gifted children forces you to think differently even if you never planned on it. That is how I became a radical unschooler and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000GCFD72/ref=redir_mdp_mobile?creativeASIN=B000GCFD72&linkCode=w01&linkId=XQWSE2AYK2ZMHONZ&ref_=as_sl_pc_ss_til&tag=giftedunschoo-20" target="_blank">unconditional parent</a>. My kids made me do it and I am forever thankful. They showed me how to parent them and accept their uniqueness with unwavering support. Gifted children are multi-dimensional beings who experience life in a richer more all consuming way and they require specialized parenting and education. They are more sensitive, intuitive, argumentative, knowledgeable, humorous and weird and there is no off switch. It is a wildly entertaining ride to live and love a gifted child and our days are never dull or predictable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">T</span></b>he more I let go of traditional thoughts toward parenting, education and life, the more we evolve into the family we were meant to be. I never anticipated having such divergent thinking children where every notion I had grown up with would be turned upside down. If they weren't such unique creatures then I could probably follow some prescribed formula and coast through every day with few twists and turns; however, that is not our journey.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">W</span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">hen we venture out into the world, our eccentricities come with us and permeate the environments we inhabit. Sometimes we are so noticeably different that I am sure we amuse and confuse the general public. Since I don't parent with any kind of behavior modification, bribes, rewards, punishment or coercion, there is no expectation of socialized obedience. We are who we are with no pretense. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to experience but freedom to express ourselves and remain authentic reign supreme. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Or, as my six year old just stated, "What you see is what you get."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">S</span></b>o, here we are living everyday with a very different perspective than mainstream thinking and I have recently been reminded; rather, assaulted by parents who are dealing with fear. Fear of letting go of educational norms and social conditioning. Motivated and paralyzed by fear of the unknown prevents many parents of gifted children from considering an unschooling philosophy and yet, unschooling gifted children is such a natural fit. Most of these parents were likely conditioned to traditional parenting and educational mindsets growing up which demonstrated the unquestioned status-quo. Back in the day, knowledge about the psychological development of children and the effects of parenting and educational choices were limited. Now we have ample research into the powerful effects of nature and nurture. Creating a stimulating environment and positive role modeling are of the utmost importance in our home.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">A</span></b> gifted child's innate ability, a variety-rich environment and uncoercive guidance can go a long way toward self-actualization. Loving our children unconditionally does more for the positive development of self then telling them how they should think and what they should learn and then giving them a gold star for following adult directives. Children make good choices by making choices so providing my children with the freedom to make autonomous decisions allows them to take control of their own lives without having to wait for adulthood. I am not preparing them for the real world. The are living in the real world now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">S</span></b>ince gifted children tend to be divergent thinkers, it only makes sense to remove any inclination toward in-the-box thinking. Self-determination, exploring the world around them and discovering who they want to be are important aspects of my children's development. We take a content neutral approach to learning and emphasize critical thinking, problem solving, life skills and character development above all else. What they learn isn't as important as knowing how to learn and enjoying the process. My children are more than capable of thinking for themselves and delving into whatever interests them. They are designing their own education, cultivating individualism and developing into well rounded hackademics. As a radical unschooling mom, I facilitate, guide, motivate, inspire and brainstorm with my children but above all else, I provide them with unconditional love and support. Each child is unique and therefor one size can never fit all. Disrupting education may not be for everyone but since we've opened the door to progressive thinking, it seems impossible to go back. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This blog is part of a <a href="http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_gifted_how.htm" target="_blank">Blog Hop</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are still unschooling. There are so many families ending their summer and starting the new school year. </span><b style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Back-to-School</b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">. This sentiment hasn't resonated for us for the past few years. We don't identify with the social convention of the school year. We don't adhere to school hours. We don't subscribe to school requirements. We don't limit ourselves by school restrictions. We do not emulate school. School was prison. Now we are free. Freedom and creativity go so well together and we are thriving. We don't have an artificial start or end date for the day, month or year. We are curious, we are productive and we are creative 24/7/365. We are constantly learning and growing according to our own unique interests. By embracing unschooling, compartmentalizing our learning time has become irrelevant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We reject most mainstream sentiment that places value on external measures which is rampant in the school system. In traditional educational environments there is so much emphasis on grades on testing as if that were a relevant way to observe whether learning has occurred and knowledge has been acquired. The only thing that testing proves is one's ability to prepare for a test and how skilled that person is at taking that test. Preparing for testing comes at the expense of all other areas of a child's life. Critical thinking, problem solving and immersive learning have no relevance when it comes to testing. For many children testing provides unnecessary stress and anxiety where the final outcome impacts the child's self-worth. What a shame that so many children have to waste their time enduring the immoderate burden of high stakes testing throughout so much of their young lives. Tests are irrelvant. Thinking, learning, creating and playing are important. The mainstream world may still rely on prescribed measures to demonstrate knowledge but for us, it has no relevance anymore.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have come to devalue formal education.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While still unschooling, our life looks a little different than a year ago. New passions emerge and we run with it. Doors have been opening up for my oldest son that would not have surfaced but for our alternative educational approach. Anything and everything is possible. His age is becoming less of a barrier as his creative intellect proves his value in the professional world. I, too, have grown tremendously since we started our unschooling journey and I continue to evolve into a more forward thinking, self-actualized person. There is ample time for reading, self-reflection and writing which I never carved out for myself before. It is liberating to be able to satiate my own unique intellectual and creative needs on a daily basis while my children do the same. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We started this journey based on my oldest son's educational needs; however, radical unschooling serves us all well. I am formally educated with degrees and certificates and yet, I am far more well versed in the areas that I have engaged in learning independently than I am in any of the areas in which I am credentialed. Passion-led, self-directed learning is highly personal, meaningful and satisfying and, in my case, it has opened me up to new career opportunities. Our lifestyle allows for healthy psychological development, emotional security, creative expression and intellectual exploration. Stress and anxiety is minimal and true connection between every family member is nurtured. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Our days don't follow any pattern. There is no forced structure nor coercive learning. Rote memorization has no place in our lives and external metrics are treated with disdain. What my children engage in is entirely up to them and k</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">nowing how to think, learn and create is pervasive. T</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">here is no limit to our education and we are all enjoying the self-discovery ride. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are not back to anything. We are living, loving and learning every minute of the day.</span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-16062506980712842962014-08-05T09:30:00.000-07:002014-08-05T10:09:07.386-07:00Unleashing Genius: Self-Directed Learning<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Genius is a term thrown around loosely and wrongly applied quite often to gifted children. Not all gifted children are geniuses despite a certain number attained on a standardized IQ test. Gifted children have a higher innate ability to understand complex ideas and learn more rapidly than most but being gifted does not ensure success academically, socially or vocationally and it does not always equate with genius. Many gifted children and adults struggle throughout life because of their intense way of experiencing the world without ever finding their true passion. This is a sad reality for many gifted individuals as they never truly tap into their potential. Parents and educators may have a skewed sense of what it means to be gifted and what it means to be a genius. A genius will rarely be the child who performs well in school and does what he is told. In my experience, genius is apathetic to conformity which is pervasive in a school setting. If you truly have a divergent thinker with extremely advanced intellectual prowess then that child may unleash his extraordinary abilities if provided the right environment in which to flourish. Through finding passions and following them with extreme self determination, a child may demonstrate prodigious nature. The intense focus, determination and ability to devour new information, synthesize it and produce something novel is part of the personality of a genius. The relentless need to create new ideas, implement them, trash them and continue producing is another trait inherent to the genius child. Geniuses are creative, relentless and prolific. They tend to excel acutely in their specialty areas and in the rest of life they may seem awkward and uncomfortable in common social situations. It makes sense. Nothing about them is common and their minds are always churning. The mundane aspects of daily life are not always survived well as idle moments can be intolerable. When taken away from their passion, irritability and disquietude surface.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Genius is somewhat elusive and yet it is palpable. The energy emanating from a genius child</span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"> is undeniably brilliant. Children with extremely high intellectual abilities are often voracious learners with insatiable minds. These children should not be in traditional school or their innate love of learning will get squashed and their divergent thinking and peculiar proclivities could get pathologized or, worse yet, medicated. I know from experience. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Self directed learning for this specific type of child is necessary for some, if not most, of their young life. These</span> exceptional children may benefit from having mentors in their area of specialty as well as unrestricted access to advanced materials from which to learn.<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> The creative mind rejects forced structure and rote, mechanical learning. Without freedom to let their minds wander, their true personalities never develop optimally. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Historically, a certain number on an IQ test equated to the label of genius but presently many believe that the term genius is reserved for those uniquely creative intellectuals who also produce something of value to society as measured by that societies' standards. Meaningful contribution is mandatory. Geniuses espouse drive and passion that is unwavering. Dedication and relentless determination coupled with high intellect and creative energy are what fuel the desire to innovate and invent. Geniuses tend to be prolific in their chosen field(s) of interest but may not appear well rounded as they prefer to focus their time and energy in specialty areas. Many of the great minds that we consider geniuses showed fierce dedication to their own self study and were demonstrably passionate which, at times, trumped their need to interact socially with the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Creativity, abstract thinking, imagination, passion and unyielding perfectionistic drive are integral parts that make up the genius personae. If boxed in, a genius child may need to rebel to satiate their need for novel thought. These children gain nothing be being forced to follow someone else's direction whether in school, at home or otherwise. Providing such a child with freedom and the tools necessary to engage in self-education and open ended productivity is indispensable for emotional and intellectual development. Freedom must reign when your mind needs to linger in the abstract. Traditional notions of parenting and education do not apply and one must adapt to support the intense need of child whose brain is on fire. I am at my most helpful when I am simply there to listen to my son's theories and brainstorm with him. On occasion, he lets me in to fully experience the layers of his creative intellect. When he does, it is<a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2013/08/greatness.html" target="_blank"> magical and otherworldly</a>. </span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-76894595908642516812014-08-01T07:53:00.004-07:002014-10-08T21:36:18.710-07:00Lasting Weirdness<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I </b></span>am an acquired taste. I have pretty intense energy," I forewarn new friends. Or, maybe they tell me something similar. Words aren't needed. If you are around me for any length of time my personality comes through pretty aggressively. It is a take it or leave it situation. I have always waxed and waned in the extremes. You love me or hate me but you are not sure which. I am friendly and affable but I don't have the patience for the superficial. I don't feign interest well and my enthusiasm is over the top. Extremes. Always. This makes for a great friend if you, too, are intense which most of my good friends are. I am drawn to those with strong energy and complexity and thrive on impassioned conversation. I love argument. This, I have learned, is not how most people enjoy social interactions. I enjoy having shared views and often prefer like-minded people but I really enjoy oppositional opinions. I welcome conflict. Heated discussions are exciting for me and definitely preferred much of the time. My husband has said that having a conversation with me is like having ice-cold water thrown in your face. I am not subtle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I </b></span>was the skinny little kid with dark curly hair and big lips when skinny wasn't in and blonde hair and thin lips were en vogue. I was odd looking with a quirky personality and I was a magnet for those that stood out in some way. I loved the underdog, the outlier, the new kid with the accent, the culturally diverse kid, the overweight girl, the handicapped...anyone who was other than totally normal was who I gravitated toward. I continue to prefer differences over homogeneity which I find sterile. I enjoy those that others cast aside for their unique qualities. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>M</b></span>y friends at this point are quality over quantity outside of the social media world. My good friends I talk to regularly and they embrace my aggressive conversational nature and oftentimes they seek out my guidance because they know that I will offer loving truth. I don't really sugar coat the truth but my candid nature and motivational type honesty helps them understand themselves better and they appreciate my opinion even if it makes them uncomfortable. And, they too, are my sounding board in times of need. I am a complex girl with a multifaceted past and the product of a dysfunctional family where I had to raise myself and learn coping skills at an early age. Those that love me embrace all of it. I can be exactly who I am without fear or judgment. Living freely and authentically allows for meaningful relationships with empathic people who cherish spirited and insightful connection.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">M</span></b>y husband is quite the introvert with little need for social interaction outside of our immediate family. He avoids small talk and seeks solitude. At work he has to be conversational and friendly but it takes a tremendous toll on him to have to be "on" socially. When we are all together he is pretty happy for me to do most of the talking on his behalf. Limited social interactions suit him just fine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">R</span></b>aising outliers and living a subversive life affects friendships for my children as well as myself. It is mostly by choice that we stay rather insular as a family but circumstances affect relationships as well. It is very challenging to take my son away from his work when he is in flow and working under self-imposed deadlines. It is not entirely dissimilar for my youngest and myself. We spend our time quite selectively with a small group of families where everyone can be strong and weird and creative and sensitive and we do not have to modify our personalities in the hope that people may think we are "normal." True friendships are more important than mass popularity. We aren't trying to fit in and the more the merrier doesn't always apply. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><b>F</b></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: center;">or my ten year old, Liam, friendships work best if the other children are creative and imaginative. We have given up on finding intellectual age peers because they simply do not exist for him. Fortunately, there is one family in particular where all four boys get along beautifully as do the parents and I. Aside from them we spend most of our time with my close friends, gifted unschooling families and extended family. It is enough social interaction for the time being. What we have found repeatedly is that for Liam, accomplished mid forty something computer scientists are his intellectual peers and it is with them that he can satiate his mind through high level conversation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>S</b>utton, who just turned six, is a charismatic child who gets along well with many and he has a unique set of character traits that are gender inclusive and all encompassing. He and I both tend to befriend new people with addiction like fervor. If we meet and there is a strong connection then our friendship may go from 0 to 60 immediately. Some friends are in it for the marathon but some are just along for a sprint. He has had intense friendships that have been short lived but while they were besties it was an all day, every day proposition. He is learning at a young age the dynamics of intense friendships. I am fairly certain that superficial friends won't be his thing either as we all seem to prefer a deep and honest connection.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>P</b></span>rior to having children I was somewhat of a social butterfly but my priorities have shifted and now my friendships are relegated to phone and social media communication for the most part. Geography and time constraints are a factor and our divergent, schedule free lifestyle plays a part as well. We are enjoying our quiet, focused life and when social opportunities arise we participate with enthusiasm, intensity and just enough weirdness to keep it interesting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This blog is part of a blog hop. For more participating blogs, <a href="http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_gifted_friendships.htm" target="_blank">click here</a></span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-82966388780204298592014-07-21T20:46:00.000-07:002014-09-19T21:17:01.166-07:00My Complex Children<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>M</b></span>y bizarre and brilliant children are my muse. No question. I may be theirs as well. We have unbelievably stimulating and detailed conversations about anything and everything which leads to my writing material. I have learned so much about myself through my children and there is not a day that goes by where I don't have rich moments to draw from as inspiration. </span><br>
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</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">I </span></b>have known for awhile how my oldest son's brain and personality work. He has a multitude of learning styles that are all tapped into at once for optimal performance. He's a big picture, strategic thinker who lingers in the details. He requires graphic rich aesthetics, audio visual delivery and an interest in the subject matter and he is a carnivorous sponge with complete understanding after one take. That is just how his brain works. It is effortless learning when delivered effectively. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br>
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">W</span></b>hat I have recently realized is a new trait that is pervasive across multiple disciplines. He is a problem solving enthusiast. He seeks to spot problems and exploit them in a way that fosters new creative channels of expression. I didn't realize it was a part of his innate makeup until today. He is the consummate white hat hacker who hacks for the betterment of his own creative freedom. Hacking is all about problem solving, critical thinking and personalization; I just never realized that it is an inherent part of of his temperament versus simply a fun pastime. It is clearly noticeable in the type of discrete math that he delves into and I realize now that it extends to his love of film editing. Part of what he likes about editing is being limited to working with certain actual footage and then having to figure out how to create something interesting from the mediocre. One more piece of the puzzle that makes him a unique child to parent.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">L</span></b>ife, for him, is worth dissecting and analyzing. He craves depthful conversation, hoards information and detects problems and discrepancies as a way of life. It is just who he is. I am not that different, I suppose. We both feel a need to deconstruct ideas and brainstorm possibilities. Every.Single.Moment. We channel complexity. Our conversations do not sound like a typical mother and child; however, nothing about either of us is typical. I suppose most parents hone their parenting style based on who their child actually is in lieu of their idea of what parenting should look like. That is certainly the case here in the land of intellectual chaos. If I tried to parent my children based on some formula found in bestselling one-size-fits-all parenting books, we would have a very different family dynamic and I would have no clue who my children really are. I try my best not to stifle any aspect of my children's personality but I do offer guidance based on my knowledge of the world that one cannot extrapolate through reading books and engaging in media. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br>
</span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiZx3fA1fHk-ByUoFC4DHWQmwMIAGgaGiZUrN8EHFbImMXUlLEu1w0T_Dglb75orqM7h68ApsYZxVHaoVxX3iZAxzxwo4vEVKk1lhK2slpKAjFQk_bgVvpXea3Qgk9UdbX3ElUt0wsVJc/s640/blogger-image-1229777640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiZx3fA1fHk-ByUoFC4DHWQmwMIAGgaGiZUrN8EHFbImMXUlLEu1w0T_Dglb75orqM7h68ApsYZxVHaoVxX3iZAxzxwo4vEVKk1lhK2slpKAjFQk_bgVvpXea3Qgk9UdbX3ElUt0wsVJc/s640/blogger-image-1229777640.jpg"></span></a></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">M</span></b>y youngest child is vastly different. His personality is about deconstruction but not of ideas as much as it is about dismantling the physical world and all objects in his view. He creates and enjoys visual chaos. Disarray is comforting to him. "When everything is chaotic, then you know you've had fun." His words, not mine. Though, I kind of get it. He just really likes to take things apart, build something new and then destroy it. Deconstruction, construction and destruction all wrapped up in a cute little charismatic package with the self confidence of a mob boss and the vocabulary and emotional intelligence of an adult. His emotional depth is naturally astute and layered. I am not quite sure where it comes from but he is more connected than anyone I have ever met. His ubiquitous understanding of love and heartbreak coupled with just enough darkness would make for an excellent poet or tortured artist. He wields his power through intense stares and dramatic exhibitionism while in costume and in character. </span><br>
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</span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipCCV0n756wJgiYgs4QK9WYrtVCJEWZ6oP20a2zRib96nm-W6T1xNxNEe_W5WIFYuWPPxdrC2Tf0RJmyUiB4RBDuDCZ-1oGESjvlVIYZxo9AJiaHg6pxpHrVT4qAOXVfgJ4LXMLU2qoXc/s1600/sutton2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipCCV0n756wJgiYgs4QK9WYrtVCJEWZ6oP20a2zRib96nm-W6T1xNxNEe_W5WIFYuWPPxdrC2Tf0RJmyUiB4RBDuDCZ-1oGESjvlVIYZxo9AJiaHg6pxpHrVT4qAOXVfgJ4LXMLU2qoXc/s1600/sutton2.jpg" height="320" width="237"></span></a></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">D</span></b>eeply emotional children can be scary at times especially when, in my child's case, he is also quite fascinated with violence. It has been this way since he was a toddler and wouldn't leave the house without carrying a concealed weapon, generally in the form of a plastic toy spatula. He is a lover and a fighter. He cares profoundly about the feelings of others and has an impassioned view of the world. And, like his brother, he seems to acquire knowledge through osmosis. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br>
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">T</span></b>here is no manual for these types of children: <b><i>How to Parent Your Omnibus Prodigy</i></b> and <b><i>How to Support Your Weapon Wielding, Emotionally Intense and Charismatic Gifted Child</i></b> simply do not exist. I am parenting the children I have, not the ones I had envisioned years ago. Our life doesn't look like anyone <span aria-haspopup="true" id=":z.4" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1">elses</span> and nothing is routine. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br>
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); font-size: large; line-height: 22px;"><b>P</b></span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); line-height: 22px;">arenting gifted children is a unique challenge which is all consuming and incredibly exhilarating. Every day is an adventure replete with life lessons which ignite our day. The main guidance that I offer my children is with character development. "Know who you are." I say this a lot as we examine situations in life and glean insight into how to develop into a psychologically healthy and happy person. We don't work on traditional academics but we certainly dissect human behavior and our role in the social world. </span></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 22px;"><br>
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); line-height: 22px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">T</span></b>raditional approaches to parenting and education are often ineffective when you are raising a profoundly gifted child or prodigy. Radical unschooling works beautifully for my self-directed children as freedom reigns and rules do not apply. Structure and forced learning are suffocating to their autonomous creative minds. Trying to keep gifted children in the proverbial box will do more harm than good and may create behavioral issues that mimic pathologies. Gifted children need to be embraced and accepted, quirks and all. We are the noticeably odd family wherever we go and our strong personalities have been known to make people's head spin. We don't really go with the flow and my children don't blend in. Their personalities are overt and they exude their brilliance the way most people breathe. I</span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); line-height: 22px;"> have one child who lives in his head and one who is guided by his heart. They are both wholly original and dexterously challenge all societal expectations. My complex children are rarely easy to parent; however, they sure make life more interesting. </span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); line-height: 22px;"><br></span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow Me on Social Media: </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">FB: Amy Golden Harrington / Gifted Unschooling</b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">@amygharrington </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Pinterest: Amy Golden Harrington </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Vine: Gifted Unschooling </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">YouTube: Gifted Unschooling</b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://giftedunschooling.com</b></div></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br></b></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br>
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</div>Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-52786391280867461892014-07-07T08:19:00.000-07:002014-09-19T21:15:42.207-07:00My Children Dictate Our Way Of Life<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"<b><span style="font-size: large;">I</span></b>t is not what you learn, but how you learn," my son announced the other day. My kids are chock full of insight and they are the catalyst to our bizarro way of living. They influence my writing and view of the world and they have changed me forever as a person and definitely as a mother. Their quirks reflect who I am and who I must have been as a child. It is hard to remember my childhood but I certainly was not provided with the kind of love and support that I offer to my own children. My past has shaped me for better or worse and I am who I am but probably not who I was meant to be. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>S</b></span>o, what I am learning is that reading, writing and media are a central theme for me which parallels and complements my children's interests. Our stay-at-home lifestyle allows me to satisfy my own creative and intellectual needs as much as it does for my offspring. Schedules may once have worked for all of us but now that seems stifling and a distant memory. Though our life is far from perfect, it certainly suits us. It is hard to remember what I envisioned when I thought of becoming a parent, but it certainly was not this. I had some unrealistic ideas of maintaining my super social lifestyle of parties, movie premieres and going out on the town with girlfriends. That type of lifestyle ended full stop upon the birth of my first child but my ideas at that point were still fairly traditional in nature. My circumstances have helped shape my parenting style for the better. Lack of space and round the clock nursing dictated that I co-slept with my baby which started me off on a more hippie mom type parenting style than many other moms I knew living on the westside of Los Angeles.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>F</b></span>ast forward several years after participating in the typical school and summer camp route and I have and continue to evolve into the most radical parent I know. Our alternative lifestyle is certainly enjoyable and creatively free which allows for a lot of self reflection. Spending nearly every waking moment with my two gifted, loquacious kooks is never dull. I am pretty sure a quiet introvert would feel assaulted by the verbosity of my progeny; however, I embrace rapid fire communication and join in on the fun. We, as a family, are a lot to take in which is hardest on my husband who is that quiet introvert. Our talkative nature causes him anxiety but we are who we are so he deals with it. It is a love/tolerate thing.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>P</b></span>arenting gifted children is certainly a learning experience that I could never have been prepared for until I realized I was in the midst of it and I had to figure it out. Fortunately, it didn't take too long for me to understand my children and their needs but I had to experience a plethora of missteps before the light bulb went on. It is empowering once you appreciate and understand your child's true temperament and are able to nurture it. Radical unschooling allows my children the freedom to develop into exactly who they are meant to be on their own time frame without having to endure boredom, coercion, psychological or physical abuse. I may be sacrificing a big paycheck but I do so happily knowing that I am providing my children with exactly what they need. Many of us are forced to integrate some form of alternative education because of our exceptional chidren's atypical needs. I cherish the time we spend together and love that we have developed a deeply connected relationship with unique opportunities that would never manifest if I went to an office and they were stuck in school.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>O</b></span>ur days are unscheduled. That thought scares many parents but it is comforting for us. The kids sometimes take classes but generally our days are free and open to discover whatever comes our way. We follow our passions which are constantly evolving and we enjoy our ability to do that which we please. My parenting style is based more on offering suggestions and then backing off. Whether my kids heed my advice is up to them. Nothing is required. Nothing is forced. I influence their choices to a small degree but I certainly do not make them do anything they don't want to do. This approach is very different than virtually all parenting books out there which suggest tips and tricks in order to have well behaved kids who follow all the rules. Oh, that's right. I am not striving for well behaved, obedient kids. They are respectful much of the time but they certainly are not perfect little robots that do as they are told. They challenge me constantly much like how I used to challenge my parents. I am pretty sure I infuriated them at times but they survived and I turned into an adult who speaks her mind and influences people. </span></div>
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<b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">M</span></b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">ost adults don't embrace children who are oppositional and opinionated. Part of the make-up of gifted children is that they have so many ideas and theories and are generally sticklers for facts. Factual correctness oftentimes trumps polite social behavior. They have a need to be right and usually have an arsenal of factoids at their fingertips. The thing is...they usually are right which can be even more infuriating. I often provide reminders of how one may need to tame their personality based on the context of the situation. Or, rather, I model another way of disseminating the factually correct information in such a manner so as not to alienate or frustrate anyone within earshot. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">M</span></b>y oldest needs constant reminders when it comes to this and I try to explain how environment and one's age must factor in to the delivery of his abundance of knowledge about nearly <b><span style="font-size: large;">everything</span></b>. He is a kid who knows the source material, origins story, history and evolution of so many things and he naturally launches into the back story of whatever the subject at hand is. I can dig it as I live it daily but his overly articulated content is too much for some people who prefer things quiet and simple. This kid doesn't take anything at face value</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">. He has a knack for taking something simple and elevating it to the overly complex and he has the same adeptness at breaking down complex ideas and making them simple and digestible all in a fairly long winded manner. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">He is a garrulous kid who was a self-proclaimed talker as a baby.</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> The content changes but the dissertation style delivery remains constant. </span><br>
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</span> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiItQu7zTtGiE7M6UibkT61I5gOMs6v0Mq9WOjngW7HMlKcpz0SWpUFgTIGGmMNKJeXbeZEaOC0byZN_DG6MHfa9A8-mWtdpiXAW59hSiQNM7Y9vFFg3FTPG9UToej6y5z6jlSUElt6vFQ/s1600/blogger-image--266558363.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiItQu7zTtGiE7M6UibkT61I5gOMs6v0Mq9WOjngW7HMlKcpz0SWpUFgTIGGmMNKJeXbeZEaOC0byZN_DG6MHfa9A8-mWtdpiXAW59hSiQNM7Y9vFFg3FTPG9UToej6y5z6jlSUElt6vFQ/s320/blogger-image--266558363.jpg" width="320"></a><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>T</b></span>he little one, who is about to turn 6, needs a slightly different type of guidance. He, too, has a facility with the English language but he is overly confident with his use of curse words. They flow so effortlessly from his mouth and he is not apologetic about his abundant use of off-putting phrases. His older brother has never uttered a curse word in his life, which he takes pride in, but the youngest sees no problem embracing drunk sailor type banter along with engaging in violent dramatic play. He breaks all molds when it comes parenting a young child. After having a goodie two shoes type of first child, I was not at all prepared for parenting this kid. He has no desire to propitiate for the sake of social harmony and his attraction toward weapons and violence scares me. On the flip-side, he is the most cuddly, lovey, emotionally connected, syrup sweet boy that enjoys colorful, iconic characters and wears his heart on his sleeve. He is highly creative, entirely selfless and eager to help anyone in need. His uniqueness and charisma fascinate me and his zeal for life is contagious.</span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">T</span></b>here are days when I cannot believe this is our life and then others where I am thrilled with how everything turned out. Since I am not a planner, I couldn't tell you what the future holds and yet I never worry about how my children will fare as adults. They have the tools to be successful and the ability to think creatively and critically which I believe are some of the most important skills for this generation. For some outsiders whose kids endure public school, watching us radically unschool is like watching a train wreck. Parenting freethinkers may appear risky to some but for me it is imperative. Gifted children do not fit any pre-conceived mold, and moreover, why would you want them to. Parenting outliers is not easy,</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> but it is real, it is entertaining and it is our life. </span><br>
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<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Follow Me on Social Media: </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">FB: Amy Golden Harrington / Gifted Unschooling</b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">@amygharrington </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Pinterest: Amy Golden Harrington </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Vine: Gifted Unschooling </b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">YouTube: Gifted Unschooling</b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://giftedunschooling.com</b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><br></b></span></div></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This blog is part of a </span><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/gifted-parenting/" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;" target="_blank">Blog Hop</a></div>
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</span>Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-14460554570993437662014-06-22T16:17:00.000-07:002014-07-01T10:03:34.549-07:00Gifted in Translation<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>U</b></span>pon the realization that my first child was gifted, I did some google searching and had a conversation or two with my mom about it and then went on my way living my life as if it was just a thing that would make life and school a little easier. Life and school certainly do not become easier because your child is gifted. There are some words and thoughts that come to mind when I think about raising gifted children but easy living isn't one of them. Many parents, including myself, would describe the journey of raising gifted children as intense, confusing, overwhelming, depthful, mentally draining, awe inspiring, rapidly evolving and sometimes it makes my head spin in the most amazing way. The reality is that these words are lighter than what we truly experience. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">A</span></b> decade ago, I didn't envision this life we are living; however, it suits our fierce individualities perfectly. I, too, was an odd bird growing up. Or, at least that is what my friends told me. I didn't know what they meant at the time. And, I too, was a bit of a rebel who embraced being different. I distinctly remember sales pitching my mother about not needing to go to school anymore because I wasn't learning anything important. I was 9.<span style="line-height: 16.5pt;"> I guess it shouldn't come as such a shock to me that we have evolved into radical unschoolers. Freedom to push boundaries, reject forced ideas, delve into the unknown and immerse ourselves deeply in our own interests is our driving force. Our life is fueled with intense intellectual and creative energy weaving comedy and confusion throughout.</span></span><br><br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfZktJSrSz4uIWhk-o919zPMMxUR8AbJUgpB9jBY0KahETG1_YWh7-25QJYVaVrCudvlCpDWxz0jUQQt6PQq65icA0ZufxkK_5U42umErXK-ngDLx1C5Ms59B9D2CIJT5eCMaKhJwTyDY/s1600/Sutton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8lckvOvugaX1RV21-KExajW2bXfDnzjlS56m8xWfVc0w3MUcL4C_bP8vvq8F_546B9XQT8U2SpyFaEp_yRTc9KAzK5VI3ERpx1EYpje_fv9Lpp_asLe6AoB1z1XtrlQkGLjCBRe6dWyk/s1600/Facetune-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8lckvOvugaX1RV21-KExajW2bXfDnzjlS56m8xWfVc0w3MUcL4C_bP8vvq8F_546B9XQT8U2SpyFaEp_yRTc9KAzK5VI3ERpx1EYpje_fv9Lpp_asLe6AoB1z1XtrlQkGLjCBRe6dWyk/s1600/Facetune-2.jpg" height="320" width="320"></a></div><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>W</b></span>e oddballs do not generally apologize for not fitting in. Actually, some people prefer us for that quality. The free spirited, free thinker with a wealth of knowledge to back up the overly articulated rants. Tact is modeled (sometimes) and passion is infectious. We aren't trying to fix the quirks. We are a very extreme and noticeable family wherever we go. It is just who we are. We don't blend in. Anywhere. This part is hard on my husband who tries to live every day like he is invisible. My oldest offspring <span style="line-height: 16.5pt;">is definitely a child who enjoys his quirky personae, my youngest exudes charisma, my husband is the strong silent type and I am the chaos whisperer. Our authentic nature sometimes presents as rough around the edges. </span><span style="line-height: 16.5pt;">My kids demonstrate their heightened sense of living in the world in oppositional l ways so I must remain well versed in each child's unique temperament in order not to offend society in general as well as to best facilitate their developmental trajectory. </span></span></div><div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>O</b></span>ne must have an unusual amount of patience and understanding when living with gifted children. Their asynchronous development can catch you off guard and leave you asking yourself, "How is it that this kid can do discrete math in his head instinctively but cannot adequately take showers without encouragement and reminders?" When their minds emulate that of a professor but their common sense and life skills barely match a young child, it serves to confuse the most empathetic parent. Even my husband, who lives this bizarrro life every day, is, at times, baffled by the disparity in intellect versus childlike judgment, physical adroitness, emotional stability and impulsive nature. He is constantly connecting one to another and then fails to make sense of it all despite my explanations. Asynchrony is pervasive with no off switch; it is all consuming and mixed with overexcitabilities can be entirely overwhelming at times. This combination often leads to a misdiagnosis of pathologies in gifted children. I prefer to look a gifted child through a positive lens that takes into account asynchronicity, overexcitabilities and environmental influences.</span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>C</b></span>onnecting undesirale behavior to the environment and learning approach plays an indispensible role in understanding gifted children. Sating a gifted child's intellectual and creative needs is an essential ingredient in how they behave in any given situation. Parenting gifted children requires knowledge and oftentimes a switch in mindset in order to fully support and appreciate the extraordinary nature of the gifted child. Raising an out-of-the-box thinker in an in-the-box system is counterintuitive and often damaging. </span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">I</span></b>t took years for us to evolve as a family into a freethinking way of life, specifically in terms of parenting and education. Because of just how off beat and strong willed my children are, radical unschooling really is our only possibility. These children know who they are and what they want and need. I am here to help them along on the path they are carving out for themselves. Their independent spirit fuels their motivation which is shaping their personalities. <span style="line-height: 16.5pt;">The one similarity my two boys share is that their interests and passions come in waves and they are all consuming when at the forefront. The obsessions change but they are always deeply explored and a meaningful part of their personal development. <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br>
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</span></div><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>G</b></span>ifted children and unschooling are often an ideal fit. Most gifted children are fiercely independent and driven by their inquisitive nature. Self-directed learning is the most natural approach for a motivated, gifted child brimming with curiosity. Providing gifted children with the freedom to satiate their intellectual and creative needs in a stimulating environment with access to interesting materials and technology is paramount for a thriving autodidact In my case, preventing freedom of self-discovery would foster behavioral issues and negative, hostile energy which is advantageous to no one. When my children are driven and focused on an endeavor of their own choosing, the best course of action is to stay out of their way and let them engage fully in their work. External expectations of what a child should be interested and engaged in has no merit in an unschooling lifestyle. The child is in control of his own pursuits regardless of adult and societal archetypes.</span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>T</b></span>he unschooling journey is ever evolving and moderately eccentric. Then, again, that is the point...to be entirely individualistic and authentic in terms of shaping one's identity, intellect and creative being. Embrace your gifted child's quirks and temperament and let them soar with the freedom that they relish. Try not to compare and measure your children with the external world of mediocrity and sameness. Gifted children are not meant to blend in and be like everyone else. Celebrate who they truly are, savor the experience and enjoy the ride.</span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); line-height: 22px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br>
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</span></b> <b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This blog is part of the <a href="http://ultranet.giftededucation.org.nz/WebSpace/443/" target="_blank">New Zealand Gifted Awareness Blog Tour</a></span></b></div></div></div>Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-65449701137001690642014-05-28T21:43:00.001-07:002014-06-02T17:37:19.141-07:00this is our normal<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">
I am a firm believer that a child's life should be filled with play in whichever way that manifests. Age, temperament and family lifestyle will heavily determine what play looks like over time and in different homes. We are not an outdoorsy, adventurous family with the exception of the kids' newfound interest in Nerf toy guns, so our play is mostly indoors. I think my five year old would appreciate a lot more wilderness, camping and frolicking about outside but my sun aversive personality, desire for physical comfort and cleanliness plays a factor in what choices we make out in the world. Though we live near the beach, it takes a lot of accoutrements for me to tolerate it, much less enjoy it, so the beach is my husband's domain. I would prefer to be indoors reading, writing or watching a movie. Indoor play is just more my speed.</div>
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The importance of play, in whatever form, is paramount in our life. Unschooling allows for unlimited learning through play. When you enjoy what you are doing it feels like play even if it doesn't look like it to the outside world. My five year old's day is entirely play-based which includes how he approaches reading, maths, writing, creative expression and social development. In our world play and learning are inseparable. My ten year old's day is entirely play based as well but his play includes an incredible amount of technology and reading.</div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">I am not sure what is typical for most ten year olds but in this house it means non stop learning, creating and general information consumption and dissemination. This child has had no use for toys or anything resembling childlike interests since the day he turned nine. That was the beginning of the end of his childhood as I had come to know it and the mark of something much more unique, intense and all consuming. As soon as this kid's eyes are open to greet the day he goes straight to the heart of all learning: technology. His computer and iDevices are always nearby and ready to be utilized for most of the day as his primary learning and producing tool. He rarely needs a break from his work which is technology centric and wholly satisfying. The only part of his play filled learning day that is offscreen is when he is consuming his comic books and teaching me what he has been learning about or creating. There isn't much else. His work is his play and his play is his work. On the occasions when we do venture out into the world, he is creating and editing the whole time. If the statement is true that one should find what they love and the money will follow then this kid will make boatloads. There is no frivolity to his day. There is just no time for that. </span><br>
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I am pretty sure my five year old is a little more in line with other five year olds. He loves Legos, superheroes, fighting, violence, weapons, My Little Pony, Hello Kitty, building and cuddle time. Okay, maybe not entirely typical but he is a child who plays all day, every day and is creative and curious. Our unschooling day provides for unlimited freedom to satiate one's desires. It just so happens that for my five year old it means acting out a lot of fighting scenes from superhero movies, reciting lines from The Goldbergs and then turning to My Little Pony comics and plush toys for lovey tenderness. He is a complex boy, to say the least, who is in tune with his masculine and feminine sides in a very powerful and all encompassing way. He is a kid who can connect with boys and girls of absolutely any age with ease and it has always been this way. He is a dream to play with but parenting him is not for the faint of heart. Unlike his older brother who has never uttered a curse word in his life, this kid walks with the confidence of a prison gang leader and talks like a drunken sailor. There really isn't much we can do about it other than mostly ignore it and occasionally remind him that most five year olds do not talk like this and all adults will find it offensive. This falls on deaf ears. </div>
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While my little kooks are doing their thing I tend to read, write and research the next great everything. We are a family where everyone is autonomous and focused on pursuing their own needs in a collaborative and loving environment (most of the time). We are not your average family which works well for my kids and I; however, my husband longs for a "normal" life which he thought he was signing up for when he met a nice Jewish attorney. Sorry, I am a lot more than meets the eye and our life will likely remain complex and turbulent. I am pretty confident that I have always been an odd bird, or, at least that is what my law school friends would tell me, but my kids take quirky and weird to new, bizarre levels. I embrace the helter-skelter life we lead and and enjoy that we all keep evolving into more creative beings.</div>
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Since we have embraced an alternative lifestyle, disturbing the existing order at every turn, it is no wonder our play looks different from the norm. Every moment in our radical unschooling life is mostly enjoyable and entirely interest led. Interest led learning is synonymous with <b>play</b>, which is defined as an "activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation, especially by children." We live a life of play. All day, every day, we engage in activities purely for enjoyment. It just so happens that we thoroughly enjoy hoarding information and devouring knowledge.</div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-17536212122194131572014-05-19T07:09:00.002-07:002014-05-19T12:59:37.697-07:00Maximalist Manifesto: Creating a Prepared Environment<div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>A</b></span>s an unschooler, something I find crucial is keeping a stimulating environment. Every part of our home is brimming with carefully selected books, games, toys, art supplies and especially technological devices of all sorts. My own obsessive nature dictates that I have a ridiculous amount of toys and books within a series so there is never a shortage of comprehensive materials. I have heard the statement that less is more but that doesn't really ring true here at the Harrington house of part-time hoarding. I have written many times about the gentle art of "strewing." In reality, it is a disorganized person's excuse for not spending time straightening up the miscellaneous everything that abounds one's home and car. <b>Strewing</b> is the random placement of interesting materials spread around the house in the hopes of inspiring interest. This decorating technique is especially effective with books; however, any item can be strategically or haphazardly placed and will always be met with enthusiasm in this household. New and novel usually draws their attention and piques their curiosity.</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I</span></b> have an affinity for magnetic toys, especially the building variety, so whenever new ones come onto the market I do not hesitate to acquire them. Captivating building toys guarantee unlimited hours of creativity for my younger son. Aside from our wonderful magnetic building collection of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Magna-Tiles%C2%AE-Clear-Colors-Piece-Set/dp/B000CBSNKQ/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=TXEQDAH5U7JZJ3WG&creativeASIN=B000CBSNKQ" target="_blank">Magformers</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Magna-Tiles%C2%AE-Clear-Colors-Piece-Set/dp/B000CBSNKQ/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=TXEQDAH5U7JZJ3WG&creativeASIN=B000CBSNKQ" target="_blank">Magnatiles</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Piece-Tegu-Endeavor-Magnetic-Wooden/dp/B005WRZZBA/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=WJC2ICZ4ED6RCSXN&creativeASIN=B005WRZZBA" target="_blank">Tegu</a>, and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Whack-Y-Ball-Toy/dp/B0039NCNN2/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=3GK3WVXIF7L5JUIW&creativeASIN=B0039NCNN2" target="_blank">Y-Ball</a> my youngest collects traditional building toys like <a href="http://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Movie-70804-Cream-Machine/dp/B00GSPFD08/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=7BKTMT7VOJE2CAN3&creativeASIN=B00GSPFD08" target="_blank">Lego</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Citiblocs-Colors-Precision-Building-Blocks/dp/B003RCJXB0/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=3XMK24FXGKBWTKY6&creativeASIN=B003RCJXB0" target="_blank">Citiblocs</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/0Z11175-Challenge-Mind-Building-Modeling-175-Pieces/dp/B007OUZWCU/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=IF724LIQ26X4ITND&creativeASIN=B007OUZWCU" target="_blank">Zoob</a> and our new favorite <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Plus-Plus-03311-600-Piece-Neon-Assortment/dp/B0080OJ7MK/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=TIE3QC42QBOLNWJK&creativeASIN=B0080OJ7MK" target="_blank">Plus Plus</a> and he loves to transform random household items into little domiciles. He may be a budding architect with his delicate balance of symmetry, color palette and design abilities that are nurtured through unlimited access to fascinating objects and no imagination restriction. <br>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>W</b></span>e also have several <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Micro-Cubebot-Teaser-Puzzle-Multi-Color/dp/B009MP253O/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=CKA3EDX4YCJJK4UO&creativeASIN=B009MP253O" target="_blank">fidgety</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Edushape-See-Me-Sensory-Balls-Translucent/dp/B001AMK6G0/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=3H4RRGCKASI7KEX7&creativeASIN=B001AMK6G0" target="_blank">sensory toys</a> everywhere you look because you just never know when you might need to <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Play-Visions-Stretch-Centipede-Assorted/dp/B000FPDYOE/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=NKOEBZV2HXO5MWUW&creativeASIN=B000FPDYOE" target="_blank">squish</a> or <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Toysmith-Wacky-Tracks-Assorted-Colors/dp/B002XH7WYK/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=UKBM4SJC2BC63667&creativeASIN=B002XH7WYK" target="_blank">twist</a> something. Fortunately, fidgeters may find refuge in every room of the house. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resources-Giant-Magnetic-Base/dp/B004DIZ7H6/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=4KFVGCTBMEF5MISQ&creativeASIN=B004DIZ7H6" target="_blank">Manipulatives</a> of all varieties are generally out in the open which my youngest son uses for many different creative activities as well as for maths and spelling. The key is providing easy access to a wide range of interesting, colorful, and relevant materials. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>F</b></span>or my screen dependent older child, strewing comes in the form of emails mostly and, unfortunately, they sometimes get ignored; however, in theory, it is a great method for a child who enjoys checking their email <i>regularly</i>. Another online trick is to merely keep a few webpages open that may foster an interest in pursuing it further. Apps are easily the shiniest item that I add to our collection of intriguing learning assets. Real time access to a new interest is easily sated by a quick trip to the App Store. My kids can learn anything if delivered in the right manner which is uniquely related to books, audiovisuals and iDevice apps. Once a child's interests and needs becomes clear, then supporting that interest with additional, relatable materials can help enhance the depth of it.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I</b></span>n terms of parenting tricks for out of the box gifted kiddos my philosophy is to relinquish control. Not because I am other than a control freak but because my kids demand autonomy and trying to inject my opinions or agenda into their lives will wreak havoc on all of us. My influence needs to be rather innocuous to be successful. Strewing is effective because it is passive and in plain view. Any attempt to blatantly tell my children to engage in something that they are not interested in will not result in compliance. And, I wouldn't want it to. I am uniquely <b>un</b>interested in raising compliant, obedient children so allowing them the freedom to figure out their own passions is paramount to their personal development. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>U</b></span>nschooling and strewing do not have to be an expensive endeavor as the library and free online resources are your best friends. We frequent the library several times a week and the car is filled with 30 plus books at a time. For us, car strewing is essential for keeping boredom and sibling squabbles at bay. Idleness and time wasting activities are hard for all of us, so we really require plentiful books and activities wherever we are. We have found that the car is a wonderful place to listen to audiobooks that we may never get around to reading. Another on the go favorite of mine is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Super-Silly-Mad-Libs-Junior/dp/0843107588/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=QRRZ3IG4IQXEZVGF&creativeASIN=0843107588" target="_blank">Mad Libs</a> which is a fun, portable learning tool that is ideal for restaurants or errand runs. Utilizing the car as an extension of your learning day can be so effective that there is a book on it, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Carschooling-Entertaining-Activities-Travel-Learning/dp/0615309496/ref=as_li_ss_til?tag=giftedunschoo-20&linkCode=w01&linkId=HFMKNOH63O3H6YHA&creativeASIN=0615309496" target="_blank">Carschooling</a>, which provides you with many ideas on how to maximize the car ride.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>U</b></span>nschooling creative, gifted children may create chaos in your home if you are a neat freak who likes clear surfaces and floors. I have always been an aspiring minimalist but with a house filled with animals and curious children, a spotless home is an unattainable fantasy. As much as I enjoy going to other people's neat and well manicured homes, there is an energy missing when everything looks and feels like a show home. I like seeing creative interests out in the open. The out of sight, out of mind sentiment greatly affects us so, without capitalizing on the art of strewing, there wouldn't be as much creative expression. My desire for minimalism will never reach fruition because without our plethora of engaging resources abound we would live a very sterile and unproductive life. <br>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-75112076620787675642014-05-01T19:49:00.000-07:002014-05-01T20:04:09.387-07:00Gifted is Not Elitist<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">I</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">don't throw the G word around in public freely. We parents understand that though it, too, is a unique need it doesn't compare to what mainstream society thinks of as a special need. Special needs garner sympathy and regional support but gifted gets neglected and will always elicit envy amongst those that don't live with it daily. My children's energy is demonstrative. We don't need to label their intensities out in the world as it is generally apparent to anyone who is around them for more than five minutes. Their giftedness is palpable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">I</span></b>t would be wonderful if everyone understood the nature of giftedness and the support required to help gifted children develop optimally, but sadly that is not the current situation. In addition to high intellect comes a variety of perplexing behaviors that often get pathologized when necessary accommodations are not in place. Gifted children are quite different in how they navigate the world and we use the term to identify a set of characteristics that one can expect to experience with gifted children. The label is there like any other descriptive label, it is just that this label seems to offend the "normal" population.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118); font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 24px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">G</span></b>ifted is a loaded term because it connotes a gift, a privilege, a blessing, something fortunate and through the lens of the envious, but uninformed, it means better than and elitist. These are the myths. The myth that gifted is all a positive benefit with no challenge. Gifted kids are wonderfully awesome but they are also incredibly challenging and, in my case, our whole family dynamic is different because of it. I wouldn't change our life for anything but it is far from envious if you enjoy a "normal" life. My child will never experience anything that resembles normal life which, of course, we don't care about now; however, it makes absolutely everything different. Many neurotypical parents with nuerotypical kids think that parents of gifted children have hit the genetic lottery with our kids; however, we know what goes hand in hand with exceptional intelligence. The extremely sensitive, overly emotional, psychomotor energy mixed with the highly creative and intellectual mind makes for brilliant chaos. I embrace it. I have a feeling most neurotypical parents would have a hard time spending one day with my children. They don't just go with the flow and follow along with the group. The argumentative know it all character wears thin for mere mortals. So, while we could certainly call gifted something new like emotionally intense, intuitively sensitive, radically accelerated, high ability, or unique needs we would still be using a term to describe kids with superior intellect. Uninformed people are threatened by what they believe that it means without understanding the full picture of overexcitabilities, asynchronicity, social differences and non conformity as the underlying attributes that go hand in hand with high intelligence.</span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118); font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 24px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Y</span></b>ou can call it whatever you want but it doesn't change what gifted is and what gifted isn't. Gifted is a neurological condition that permeates cultural, ethnic and socio-economic boundaries and has nothing to do with privilege or elitism. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieOZzxFPvwVkAmfIPs3CUUW9MZdq5xRfkhiLIL1Vdi3j5iWHLO56tH8hYomzIDTyUDSU7RDQ5mY81nIP0Sqs_jm-7o9Wi0U_-RTJkvHm5B7KwoEF6gdWlF7dJhhNDTySXDQhKWahGE2uE/s1600/blogger-image--595898157.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieOZzxFPvwVkAmfIPs3CUUW9MZdq5xRfkhiLIL1Vdi3j5iWHLO56tH8hYomzIDTyUDSU7RDQ5mY81nIP0Sqs_jm-7o9Wi0U_-RTJkvHm5B7KwoEF6gdWlF7dJhhNDTySXDQhKWahGE2uE/s320/blogger-image--595898157.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">T</span></b>hose of us in the gifted world understand exactly what gifted means. We are here to support and educate gifted families on this unique and complex path. We know that giftedness and high achievement often are not always synonymous. We appreciate that giftedness is not a guarantee that one will have success in life. We are aware that gifted children feel different from others and that may impact social opportunities. We research and support gifted children with dual or multiple exceptionalities and how best to serve them. We empathize with their depth of consciousness and acute sensitivities. We embrace their alternative views about the world and help foster positive self-concept and promote authenticity. We are cognizant that many gifted children have a deep emotional range that requires healthy, loving support. We realize that one size fits all thinking will never apply to gifted children. We accept that being gifted is a lifelong journey of self-discovery. We understand that gifted is neuroatypical wiring. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: normal;">This blog is part of the Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page inaugural Blog Hop on The “G” Word (“Gifted”). To read more blogs in this hop, visit this Blog Hop at </span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-77178160502944527332014-04-19T11:36:00.000-07:002014-04-22T08:16:30.114-07:00Push Academics and Children May Hate Learning<div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>O</b>ur days are filled with chaos in a beautiful, all consuming way. Our very free lifestyle provides us with a healthier approach to living in may ways and it keeps our minds open to the unexpected. One of the most noticeable benefits is the lack of stress that my children and I feel on our highly customized journey. They are carving their own path now and it is such an interesting ride. Our focus really is on creative freedom of expression in every sense. </span><br>
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<div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br></b></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">W</b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">ith a deemphasis on traditional academics and unrestricted time to delve into our own interests, each of us are able to satiate our creative needs on a daily basis. Giving my children the freedom to choose that which they want to focus their time on has helped them evolve into interesting, capable human beings who are passionate about learning.</span></div><div><br></div><div><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; ">"It's Happening!"</b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; "> squealed my youngest child. </span></div><div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>H</b>e just started working on a new online reading game and it clicked that he is actually able to read. <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Yes, it <i>was</i> happening through what felt like osmosis coupled with readiness and a desire to read. <b>Words are everywhere. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>H</b>e has been able to read words here and there but he certainly doesn't express the same enthusiasm with regard to reading the his brother and I share. He just hadn't shown much interest in reading or being read to for a couple of years now. It was noticeable how different his receptivity to being read to was. As much as our house is every bit a reading house, we all honor our own unique needs. Just this morning I was thinking about how I need to get over any thought of having another early or voracious reader. Each kid is unique and though I find reading to be quite important in terms of self education, which we are all about, I am also one who believes that pushing a child to learn something they are not interested in nor ready for is not only a complete waste of time but it may also turn them off to very thing you are hoping they will learn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>P</b>ush a reluctant reader into reading exercises on some arbitrary time frame and you will likely squash his natural interest in reading. The desire and readiness must be completely their own. Children learn best when they are calm, interested and ready. Trying to rush something as complicated and important as reading will likely backfire even if it looks as if the child is making progress. Children can learn under fear and coercion but it certainly isn't optimal. Requiring a child to do x amount of reading everyday whether they are interested in it or not may help them learn to read the words in the moment but it will likely do nothing to inspire a love of reading especially if it is a struggle in the process.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>I </b>love experiencing what feels like spontaneous ability. All of a sudden my youngest is writing complete sentences with perfect spelling, grammar and punctuation without ever doing any formal instruction. Today he showed a desire to do something he's never tried nor shown any interest in previously (kind of like reading). He went from zero practice to multiple well crafted sentences with one big, organic, I've been soaking it all in kind of a leap. Unschooling allows this type of learning to happen on his time frame and in his way. He is learning just by being alive in the world experiencing communication through multiple channels. In the midst of this discovery he stated: "I'm a good speller from what I know." Yes, apparently you are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>I</b> keep coming upon articles that punish technology and media; however, those are incredibly relevant methods of information dissemination especially for visual spatial learners. Understanding your child's learning preference is essential to fostering their love of learning. If you provide them with a well prepared environment that capitalizes on their learning potential and set them free to explore that learning rich environment with no expectation or adult interference, you may be surprised at how your children will flourish. Everyone learns on their own time frame and in their own way. Trust the process of letting go and a child's natural curiosity will drive them to find what interests them. Support those interests whatever they are and stop measuring and assessing progress or mastery. When a child is engaged, learning, creative and productive external measures cease to be relevant.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For more information on unschooling or gifted education please follow me here: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>FB: Amy Golden Harrington / Gifted Unschooling</b></span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-91819089012698605502014-04-18T09:12:00.001-07:002014-04-21T18:18:46.056-07:00Minimizing Stress, Anxiety and Emotional Outbursts<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><b><span style="font-size: large;">O</span></b>ur version of living a healthy lifestyle is dominated by analyzing our behavior before, during and after an experience. Promoting health and well being has different meanings for different people. At a basic physical level, for me, it means having a clean, organic diet, using chemical free products for skin care and house cleaning, practicing yoga or pilates, taking long hot baths and getting quality sleep. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For my children it means making reasonably healthy choices with food, constant movement, an adherence to oral hygiene and quality sleep. How our healthy approach truly </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">manifests is in how we dissect our learning experiences, whatever they may be, to help strengthen our emotional and psychological well being in light of best laid plans. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span><b style="color: #003333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 23.18400001525879px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">K</span></b><span style="background-color: #d7ecf4; color: #003333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 23.18400001525879px;">now who you are. This resonates here. Part of being healthy is having the ability to manage or better yet, prevent stress. We discover who we are, what our needs are, what we like and how we react to life's curve balls. Our ability to manage stress and anxiety by making choices that are supportive of our unique personalities is what keeps us happy and healthy despite how different we are from mainstream living. We do not engage in many all day out door activities as we are sun aversive, heat sensitive, noise bothered, crowd affected, indoor people who appreciate books, tech and media over suntans and large crowds. By knowing who we are and how we feel about certain events, we are able to adjust accordingly by either not attending or by planning ahead of time how to accommodate some of our unique needs. It seems that we are all quite mood affected by hunger with a few discerning palettes so, a big part of any day out of the house coincides with timely, familiar meals. </span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">W</span></b>e do not overly schedule ourselves which allows for more passion driven learning at home. The basis of our lifestyle is rooted in extreme intellectual needs that are better satiated at home. Most of the time. Whatever our lifestyle is, it is always extreme and it ebbs and flows in multiple directions. The true freedom from any specific expectations placed upon my kids, in particular and us in general, help shape a healthy lifestyle for us. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Miniming stress, anxiety and potential emotional outburts by carefully choosing how, where and with whom we spend our time is omnipresent.</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">M</span></b>y children generally soak in everything they are around and since they are around me they are naturally absorbing some of my healthier approaches to living. They are influenced by who I am and what choices I make and yet they are always figuring out who they are what they like. They have a fascination with knowing everything about everything so they spend their time consuming information. Knowledge carnivores. They appreciate the importance of making healthy choices and understand risk. What they are interested in changes but they are free to learn that which suits them in the moment and for however long thereafter. They require this freedom. Structure would be stressful. They are aware of what they are comfortable with and what is too much for them. They know how they learn best and choose to live passionate, creative lives uniquely designed by themselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">E</span></b>ach of us are entirely independent and collaborative. We have fierce dedication to our own interests and the opportunity to share them with each other in an emotionally available, intellectually charged, creative and peaceful environment. This flow that we have created keeps stress and anxiety at bay. Understanding who we are and what we want our journey to be is a critical part of our life education. It just happens that our version of a healthy lifestyle is determined by our ability to independently quench our intellectual and creative needs in real-time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">T</span></b>his is what healthy living is. <b><span style="font-size: large;">F</span></b>or us.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">@amygharrington</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This blog is part of a blog hop with <a href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fgiftedhomeschoolers.org%2Fblog-hops%2Fpromoting-health-wellness-gifted-2e-child%2F&h=aAQFG_rl5" target="_blank">Gifted Homeschoolers Forum</a></span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-45883781742187884742014-03-19T10:05:00.001-07:002014-03-19T12:55:48.117-07:00Not All Children Are Gifted. Stop Perpetuating the Fallacy.<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">
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<b>T</b>he statement all kids are gifted gets thrown around a lot like <a href="http://momastery.com/blog/2014/03/18/child-gifted-talented-single-one/" target="_blank">here</a> or the not too dissimilar thought <a href="http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2013/02/goestheotherway.html" target="_blank">Seth Godin</a> tried to perpetuate stating that we can learn to be gifted if we practice and it is entirely offensive and ignorant. Not all kids are gifted and gifted shouldn't be a bad word but it is because parents of neurotypical kids are internalizing and incorrectly assuming it means smart, straight As and easygoing. Really? I am raising two profoundly gifted boys one of whom is a prodigy and nothing about them or our life is easygoing. My kids are not straight A students. My kids are so completely different that school does not even apply to them. Their brilliance is undeniable and awesome and I would never change a thing but they are very far from "normal." They actually canNOT thrive in school because school is designed for "normal" kids. You know those kids who have friends and play sports and like popular TV shows and music. "Normal" kids who have sleepovers and eat all sorts of foods and can go to amusement parks and get along well with others. "Normal" just isn't enough for "normal" parents. "Normal" parents want to be able to say that all kids are gifted. The fact is that most kids are "normal" and every day life is designed for "normal" people.</div>
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<b>W</b>hile all children are gifts, not all of them are gifted. We, as a culture, love to embrace a talented artist and we cherish athletic prowess but we show disdain for an intellectually gifted child. Giftedness in children should be nourished and cultivated as they are the ones that will develop cures for cancer, invent useful products, discover unique methods for sustainable living, create innovative technological advances and inspire future generations to excel.</div>
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<b>W</b>ell, I will tell you what gifted really is. Gifted is neurological wiring in the brain that lasts a lifetime. Gifted is neuroatypicality kind of like how Autism is neuroatypicality. Gifted means that your entire experience of the world is qualitatively different from the norm. Gifted means that your child will likely never fit in at school, will be misunderstood by teachers and likely pathologized and punished. Gifted means that making and keeping friends will be infinitely harder and everyday life will be challenging and bizarre. </div>
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<b>G</b>ifted means asynchronous development which means that gifted children are many ages at once. A gifted child may have an intellect several years higher than their physical age, the emotional regulation and physical dexterity of a child several years younger than their age with the social desires of a child their chronological age all trapped in one body. This is a gifted child's reality every day. The mind may have brilliant thoughts trapped in a body that cannot execute them well. <br>
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<b>P</b>arents of gifted children are shunned if they talk about their child's accomplishments publicly instead of celebrated. When we talk about what our children are doing it is not meant to minimize what your "normal" kid does just like when you talk about your kid's successes we don't try to belittle them. Parenting is not a competition. We are all on a different journey and parenting a gifted child is a bumpy and confusing experience and no one size fits all parenting book or educational approach applies. Gifted kids are the outliers, the odd birds, the kids that march to the beat of their own drum, the ones that get teased on the playground and bullied by their teachers. Gifted is not easy. It is joyful at times and completely baffling at others. Gifted does not represent everyone much like everyone isn't Autistic. It is belittling to those who are given the challenge of raising these unique children where everyday is unpredictable. Gifted requires a modification in parenting, education and often includes special counseling.</div>
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<b>G</b>ifted means that my child will never have a "normal" life. Gifted does not automatically equate with success. While it is true that some gifted people are successful, many have so many emotional issues like depression and anxiety that prevent them from fully realizing their potential. Gifted means that you always feel different from the majority of people you come across and not everyone embraces different. Gifted means that you are rarely going to follow rules and tow the line which makes gainful employment difficult. When giftedness is cultivated in a supportive environment then a gifted child may flourish but sadly, because of our culture's disdain for gifted children and the lack of support they receive in schools, many gifted children do not lead happy, productive lives and that is a tragedy. </div>
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<b>Do you still think all children are gifted?</b></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-21059888392308375072014-03-16T13:50:00.001-07:002014-03-19T08:45:00.598-07:00Unschooling Tweens...Let the Confusion Begin<b>T</b>he unique journey of raising a profoundly gifted tween who has the mind of a brilliant adult trapped in a young child's body with the emotional regulation of a teenager and the separation anxiety of a preschooler is not for the faint of heart. Having a child who has been accepted to college at a young age without the emotional maturity or desire to pursue it makes every day more complex than your average kid. Many kids by the age of 10 long for their independence and desire to have the ability to stay at home alone from time to time. Not my kid. We would love for him to <i>want</i> to stay at home and work on his own projects versus having to drag him to places he doesn't want to go to but no such luck. Every now and then he will tell me that he is over his fear of being alone and that my husband and I can go out on a date while he and his brother stay home and watch a movie. We tried this once. He facetimed me the entire time while we ate at a restaurant two minutes away just in case we had to rush home. Sure, this may change in a few years but he is entirely responsible and trustworthy and, in my eyes, capable of a short stay at home right now. He feels differently about it. This is a kid who needs some adult in the house but definitely doesn't want us to tell him what to do nor does he want us to be right near him much of the time. He likes together alone time. The push pull of needing parental guidance coupled with a great desire for autonomy is omnipresent. <br>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><b>H</b>e has recently taken on the initiative to teach and inspire his younger brother with such enthusiasm that demonstrates his leadership abilities and his desire to teach in an effective and patient manner. I love this. The next moment he needs his space and we give it to him...the whole downstairs has become his domain. I feel like we are living with a moody teenager already at times. His time is his own and he uses it as he sees fit. He isn't waiting to become an entrepreneur...he is one now. </span></div>
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<b>H</b>is personality is pradoxical. He is a tree hugging hippie and fiscally conservative Libertarian who urged me to vote for Mitt Romney in 2012. He is unmotivated by money but always needs the newest and most sophisticated technological devices. Huh? My head spins regularly in a state of confusion over just how bizarre and unique this human being is that I have spawned. <span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">He is a focused, determined kid with ideas of changing people's lives for the better and he is constantly evolving. Just when I think I understand who he is and what his passions are he completely flips the script. </span><br>
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<b>H</b>e doesn't do superficial and he doesn't care about what the outside world thinks. In this way he is unlike typical tweens/teens who are heavily shaped by their peers, environment and pop culture. Then again, nothing about this kid is typical. I would imagine since we are unschooling that the approaching teen years should be very different than those who are influenced by peer pressure culture. He is staunchly authentic. He is also a very sensitive and deeply engaged person who requires depth of conversation and complete honesty. Our communication is pretty open and truthful now and I am constantly working to keep it that way. He is also a very cautious and highly moral kid so I am thinking that the teen years may be smoother than what I would have previously expected. Are you shaking your head yet at my optimism? </div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><b>H</b>aving a kid that ages out of K-12 school at a very young age brings with it a very different experience of what the future holds. Presently, he is multiple ages at once with no handbook to guide us through this path. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">He self educates which I am confident he will continue to do throughout his life and there is no educational planning that occurs in our household. There is no preparing for college or SAT testing or any of the traditional mainstream milestones that many families with teenagers face in our future. We do not suscribe to standardized testing and he has already had a taste of college academics. There is no section at the bookstore that can help you along the way when your child is at the upper end of intellectual extremes coupled with a subversive approach to education. There will be no </span><i style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">college experience </i><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">for him where he studies and enjoys the culture that goes along with being free for the first time at 18. He is free now. </span></div>
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This blog is part of a <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/homeschooling-parenting-gifted2e-kids-teens/" target="_blank">blog hop</a>. </div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-34262392970646120652014-03-10T20:07:00.002-07:002014-04-25T16:29:03.448-07:00Change the Environment. Not the Kid<div>
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>T</b>he majority of public and private schools in America follow a traditional pedagogy which focuses on fact accumulation, rote memorization and teacher led instruction which suits one type of child--the auditory sequential learner. Generally, traditional schools favor children who learn in small, incremental, sequential steps leading eventually to bigger ideas and concepts. Educating a gestalt (right brained dominant) learner who needs to see the whole picture and fill in the smaller parts on their own in an auditory sequential (left brained dominant) environment can be highly detrimental to the child not to mention painfully boring. Children with almost any learning style(s) other than auditory sequential will not learn optimally in a traditional classroom environment. When a child is not learning well then one should determine whether the teaching style is a fit and whether the environment is conducive to the child's overall needs. </span><br>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>Change the environment...not the kid.</b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>U</b>nschooling allows a child to learn at his/her own pace, capitalizing on their own learning style. What makes unschooling such a great fit for gifted children, in particular, is that asynchrony and overexcitabilities (OEs) will not interfere with meaningful learning. Gifted children who are high in asynchrony with multiple OEs can rarely get their needs met inside the confines of a classroom. Unschooling a gifted child creates an optimal learning experience in a customized environment that is entirely tailored to their unique needs. A child high in sensual OE may struggle with clothing that is uncomfortable, lights that are too bright and noises that are a disturbance all which affect their learning inside a classroom. All of these interferences are able to easily be accomodated inside a warm, loving home environment. A child high in psychomotor OE will need the freedom to move around, fidget, talk excessively and focus diligiently on passion areas all of which would be seen as a nuisance within a school setting and the child will likely get an ADHD label quicker than the teacher can contact you to complain about your in motion child. Imaginational OE will easily get pathologized as ADHD (inattentive type) as nobody likes a day dreamer especially when there are tests to prep for. There is very little room for emotionality in school so the child high in emotional OE will likely repress their true feelings and may become withdrawn, depressed or told that they are being overdramatic and don't forget to slap on an autistic label if such child is prone to melt downs over seemingly trivial issues. And lastly we have intellectual OE which takes a gifted child to that extreme of intellectualizing anything and everything to the point that most adults get exhausted and they tune out so that their heads won't explode. It is not that unschooling is the only option for a gifted child but for some of us it sure feels that way.</span></div>
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<b>S</b>ometimes people are surprised that my children are truly in the driver's seat of their own education. Even those that understand my child's extreme intellectual needs, cannot wrap their head around the fact that if he doesn't want to do something then he doesn't have to do it. He has the freedom to stop anything at anytime or to never start something despite having a natural propensity for it. There is tremendous freedom in determining that which you spend your time doing, learning, experiencing and creating. When you think your child is wasting their time on something, remember that gifted children are always making connections that serve them even if it doesn't make sense in the moment. Trust in the process and let go of expectations of what your day, week or unschooling year looks like. Guide without coercion, facilitate, support, embrace their choices and follow their lead. You will be surprised where they take you.</div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-75256657224939669232014-02-15T07:24:00.000-08:002014-02-17T19:07:34.320-08:00Unconditional Unschooling<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How does one keep unschooling month after month, year after year? Don't you need a break? Don't your kids <i>have</i> to learn certain subjects? That latter question is a particular pet peeve of mine but my responses change over time and are definitely mood and audience dependent. Here it is. I will lay out how unschooling works 24/7/365. We are living, learning, growing and enjoying freedom. How does one measure when that should end and why would you want to? When every day is a Saturday in summer with no forced requirements then every day becomes quite joyful and easy. Well, maybe not easy but certainly free from restriction. We keep unschooling because we love freedom to think, learn, play, dress, eat, sleep, speak, act, read, cuddle and enjoy what we want, when we want for however long we want and then completely change on a dime. We keep unschooling because it just means living freely and authentically with boundless choices coupled with the time to delve into new areas of interest. We keep unschooling because we cannot imagine living any other way. Once you go down this road and educate yourself on the perils of compulsory schooling versus the benefits of meaningful learning, there is no going back.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We keep radical unschooling because we believe that our children are autonomous beings capable of making choices that affect their lives and improve their self concept. We keep radical unschooling because raising children with an authoritarian parenting style makes me disheartened for all the children out there suffering at the hands of a dictatorship style of parenting. We keep radical unschooling because even if my beliefs were more mainstream, my kids' needs certainly are not. We keep radical unschooling because happiness, learning, honoring unique needs is just who we are. We keep radical unschooling because we keep living and learning.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As we learn. we evolve and that growth determines the trajectory of our day, week, month and year until it doesn't because our lifestyle takes so many twists and turns. Just when you think you have a flow to your unschooling journey, kids and life will take you on a roller coaster ride of emotions, change and stagnation all at once. I am constantly reevaluating what our rhythm is and how creative, productive and happy we are. Generally, our life works well for us but there certainly are moments that make you question everything. That is fine. Questioning is welcomed in the house of autonomy. We don't adhere to any status quo. My kids are definitely showing me who I am. My strong-will and odd quirks, which have always been a lot to take for some, emanate from my bizarre and complex progeny. The more complex the child, the more likely alternative education will be the only available choice. What happens when you head down this path; however, is once you appreciate the freedom to do that which pleases you, then the idea of going back to anything institutionalized seems terrifying and counterintuitive. Suddenly believing in the system of school is not a likely outcome once you delve into true, interest led learning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you no longer believe in resorting to bribes to affect behavior and the thought of grades and standardized test measures make you cringe, then unschooling becomes a welcomed choice. When you have ditched rewards and punishments as a way to get children to comply and you do not believe that adults have all the power, then mainstream parenting and educational choices cease to resonate. <span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118); line-height: 24px;">You will never see optimal performance, learning or interest when a child is apathetic to a task. Meaningful learning only happens when it is intrinsically motivated not coerced or rewarded with a grade or other external motivator. A child has to want to do the work and be interested in it. Scolding a kid into doing something they do not care about has both short term and long term negative effects. Forcing a child to do academic work on your terms in a rushed and punitive manner is not only going to push the child away from natural learning but it will also negatively affect the parent child relationship. </span>When you no longer believe that any adult should be able to exert control over your child or try to coerce them into doing or believing something just because that adult wants them to, then radical unschooling naturally becomes a way of life. I question everything I used to believe in. I am constantly unschooling myself and learning how important it is to provide children with unconditional love which is much easier to practice when I am the primary influencer in my children's lives. So, we keep radical unschooling because that is who we are and this is our life.</span></div>
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This post is part of a<a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/?p=3285" target="_blank"> blog hop</a>. Follow me @amygharrington or FB Amy Golden Harrington</div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-90404754118697555742014-01-30T14:17:00.000-08:002014-09-19T21:14:36.225-07:00Unschooling - Passion Driven Learning<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><b>U</b>nschooling for us really is synonymous with passion driven learning. The passions come and go but while they are hot, they are heavily supported and well developed. The current obsession is Spider-Man, writing screenplays and making fan made movies. When I say obsession, I may be underestimating our current situation. L, programmer, hacker, jailbreaker, has always been one to delve deeply into any area of interest. He is an autodidactic dream because there is no stopping his natural desire to learn anything and everything about whatever the interest is. My main task is to figure out how best to support it. The content changes. The research, learning and knowledge acquisition is all encompassing. </span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><b>E</b>very day we joyfully experience the benefits of how non adherence to traditional standards ignites genuine interest in learning and creating. Self-education, based on natural desire, is intrinsically motivated, authentic and meaningful. As unschoolers we choose to follow our interests and passions no matter what they are and how often they change.The point of all this is that self directed learning allows the creative mind to wander wherever it needs to go. Parents and educators in mainstream society have come to believe that all children of a certain age must learn a very specific set of facts generally in a prescribed manner and at the same age. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><b>"Self-education, based on natural desire, is intrinsically motivated, authentic and meaningful."</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><b>C</b>hildren are individuals with different interests and learning styles. Unschooling allows for myriad ways of learning with no ceiling. When we let go of societal expectations and realize that children are: born curious, true learning is everywhere, and life provides us with enough organic, meaningful lessons, then one no longer views school as the place for kids to get an education. Hmmm, where do I "get an education?" Even that statement demonstrates the passive recipient style of imparting information that dominates the school system. Unschooled children have ownership over their own learning rather than having to experience what other people think is relevant being forced onto them while they sit still and shut up. I am raising independent thinkers who challenge the status quo and think divergently. Living with kids who are encouraged to question everything and challenge traditional thoughts makes every day a unique adventure in life learning.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><b>S</b>elf directed, passion driven learning looks different for each family. For some it means taking a lot of field trips, attending classes and incorporating a lot of nature. For us, it means a great deal of technology, media, reading and real world discovery. I am a huge proponent of having a prepared environment with easy access to compelling materials. Our home is flooded with graphic novels, puzzles, building toys in general and Lego in particular. Our field trips tend to be trips to the library, book stores, mobile stores, the Apple store and comic book stores. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj17N35w_8WjNAdG4kTGzEM5wINEJFbMk6cR-k_yT7UB1-vD-8IW1nOjRhPsGm_pnwU4R81GT3x0-MOv6jbA5UKrSbwDGwArOIZfgsmwGq-l1s99OWjkqTYnSie9BYp_KZQ5Fn5p1ajFr8/s640/blogger-image--1478209107.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj17N35w_8WjNAdG4kTGzEM5wINEJFbMk6cR-k_yT7UB1-vD-8IW1nOjRhPsGm_pnwU4R81GT3x0-MOv6jbA5UKrSbwDGwArOIZfgsmwGq-l1s99OWjkqTYnSie9BYp_KZQ5Fn5p1ajFr8/s320/blogger-image--1478209107.jpg" width="172"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8lmpoU8G_b4M5LXKwL7WTLV07Qi0awXw9DJmRvtQWgsr9kZ7zJazCSuzcTMscYogCQ6FgyhUWKFEwgcZhi1HPlNue3_PRpmOVJQ5uqsRrLpB3PXlGqPXAsS2cppdudO8LmbTTqSnd3Ts/s1600/Sutton_Lego.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8lmpoU8G_b4M5LXKwL7WTLV07Qi0awXw9DJmRvtQWgsr9kZ7zJazCSuzcTMscYogCQ6FgyhUWKFEwgcZhi1HPlNue3_PRpmOVJQ5uqsRrLpB3PXlGqPXAsS2cppdudO8LmbTTqSnd3Ts/s1600/Sutton_Lego.jpg" height="320" width="239"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiTPxp22630Am5RML6RqNCfJEtJFP-782WsYVKDAa_BHCGGWB3RCKC7PdyncVqqpTzn5q8tosLH_1S5o3B0B1hSYntQMk3l2v_OPa_7AczxQ5Ga7G4fah3pmX-q6NnYcbmKgdYPPiyiAE/s1600/strewedcoffeetable.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"></span></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><br><b>A</b>s unschoolers with no adherence to mainstream standards, having engaging toys, books and games around is essential. Strewing (scattering items all over in an unorganized fashion) is a favorite of mine to spark potential interest which can extend from the house to the car. One cannot underestimate the power of a prepared (or strategically cluttered) environment for children to play, learn and develop their curiosity. Play is integral to learning especially for younger children and should be embraced with as much enthusiasm and support as academic learning. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><b>F</b>ollowing your child's natural interest is an essential part of unschooling which can then be fostered through supportive resources to help satiate that child's interest. The key part is to make sure, as an adult, that you embrace your child's interest without inserting your own agenda or expectations. Part of being supportive and fostering independent learning is to understand your child's preferred learning style which may differ across content areas. Children may be incredibly enthusiastic about a topic for a day, a week or a year. There is no prescribed amount of time that makes an endeavor worthwhile. Once a child has satisfied a particular interest, they are prepared to move on. They may come back to their previous passion areas in the future or make new connections with their knowledge and apply that to the next interest area. Years may go by before an interest becomes appealing again (Spider-Man); however, when it does it is generally tackled in an entirely different manner and with more depth. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><br></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);"><b>T</b>he freedom of unschooling is that you do not have to measure what your children have learned, nor do you have to determine whether you or society finds merit in it. The power and ability to learn independently is one of the most important tools necessary for our future problem solvers. Don't worry about fact accumulation or topic worthiness. Focus more on the process. The process of critical thinking, creativity, perseverance and problem solving all of which are subject neutral and integral to a budding autodidact. These are essential general disciplines that will be paramount for the current and future generations in our ever evolving world. </span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: .Helvetica NeueUI;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.231373); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.294118);">If your child espouses most or all of these content neutral skills, then that child will be prepared for any type of career he desires. In school, they teach fact accumulation, rote memorization, regurgitation and external measurement to determine merit. Most of this content specific, top down education will have no relevance in the future. Sadly, schools de-emphasize problem solving, critical thinking and creativity in the face of standards based testing to ensure a homogenous society of mediocrity. </span></span></div>
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So, here I am today realizing just how ignorant I was and envious of those moms who know right away that homeschooling is right for their gifted child. I wish I knew and I often wonder what could have been. To avoid becoming a cautionary tale like my son was becoming, I would urge parents of gifted children to strongly read the definition of what gifted is and heed the words at the end:<br>
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<span style="text-align: left;"> </span><i style="text-align: left;">Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened sensitivity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and <b>requires modifications in</b> <b>parenting, teaching</b> and <b>counseling</b> in order for them to develop optimally. (Columbus Group, 1991)</i></div>
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Let us break this down so we can really understand what gifted is. There is a strong emphasis on the word asynchrony which is the key to understanding the unique nature of what gifted children are like. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Asynchronous development is one of the most challenging and confusing parts of the gifted child. Gifted children develop unevenly across various domains, in different areas and at different rates with no constant regularity. Asynchrony is essentially disequilibrium. A child may be chronologically 8 with a scientific and mathematical mind equivalent to that of a college student; the writing skills of a 7 year old; athletic abilities of a 5 year old and the social emotional range of a toddler to 13 year old. Gifted children are many ages at once and it can be confusing for the child, parent and teacher. Along with the joys of asynchrony, there are </span><a href="http://giftedunschooling.blogspot.com/2013_05_01_archive.html" target="_blank" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">overexcitabilities</a><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> that create an additional layer of intensity in the home and elsewhere. Gifted children are highly sensitive and extremely intense in their range of emotions, interests and abilities. The greater the level of advanced intellectual development a child espouses as compared to his physical development, the more challenging an experience navigating though social life and school can be. This is where the modification in parenting and teaching really comes in to play. This is also why alternative educational options like homeschooling/unschooling work so well for highly asynchronous gifted children. When a child has disparate abilities, a traditional one sized fits all curriculum approach will likely not work well. Not only is the curriculum likely to be a mismatch for an exceptionally gifted child, but the ability to find a true intellectual peer is also going to prove difficult in a traditional school classroom.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">The scatter of abilities inherent with asynchronicity can be overwhelming for a child who is required to fit into an environment (school) designed around chronological age restrictions. Homeschooling</span>/unschooling allows one to tailor make an education customized to match the highest abilities while accommodating the areas that need remediation or simply more time to develop. For many gifted children, and boys in particular, writing skills often lag behind other areas which can cause much undue frustration for the perfectionist child who may internalize their struggle and consider themselves dumb. Writing is such an integral part of a traditional school day and can really put undue pressure on a young, developing mind whose thoughts race far too quickly for his body to execute efficiently. Writing relies on fine motor control, organizing thoughts, holding ideas in one's mind, engaging both left and right sides of the brain and physical coordination. For a child with underdeveloped motor coordination and executive function challenges, writing can be a daunting undertaking. A wonderful modification for a child with writing challenges is to transcribe for them, have them use dictation software or try an audio recording app. Fortunately, talk to text type software is readily available and some believe it is the future of communication such that even keyboarding will become irrelevant. This is but one example of how a customized learning environment can be supportive for an asynchronous child or a twice exceptional child who might otherwise be held back from reaching their true potential because of one area that lags behind their advanced cognitive development.</div>
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Gifted children require a modified educational approach as the definition states. There are so may different learning styles and approaches to education that there is no one style that will work well if applied in the same way to all high ability children. This reality sheds light on why many families with gifted children choose homeschooling/unschooling for at least some part of the child's education. </div>
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We started our alternative educational journey by deschooling for months which naturally evolved right into radically accelerated unschooling. For us, there is no other way. Our life changed dramatically and for the better. Our days probably do not look like anyone else's because we do not prescribe to any common educational standards. Through seeing the marked improvement in my oldest child, who endured a handful of years stuck in the system, having evolved from behavioral problem to child prodigy in a matter of months, I am able to relinquish antiquated thoughts about what education should look like. Our beliefs have changed. Our lives have improved. We do not believe in institutionalized learning and we do not compare our day to what others are doing. My kids enjoy their days learning that which interests them. Delight driven, self directed education is what we embrace fueled by a tremendous amount of technology and media. They are creative and inventive, motivated and productive, delightful and challenging and most of all they are happy. Our approach is very extreme and may not seem plausible for many but for those with creative, motivated children who are carnivores of knowledge it is an ideal solution to combat the sentiment, "I hate school. I am bored."</div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-68040203436935197562013-12-07T08:16:00.001-08:002014-09-19T21:19:25.212-07:00Rethinking Education: Self Directed Learning<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">
Taking apart the idea of school as we know it and getting back to the roots of children and learning is a pervasive thought which I am constantly researching and evaluating. There is no shortage of pedagogies out there but there seems to be a lack of application of relevant methodologies for out of the box creative thinkers. <b>Our public educational system as we all know it is one of the most broken institutions which is entirely counterintuitive to its intended purpose</b>. Many parents have children and without thought register their children at the local school because currently that is the expected norm. Historically, compulsory schooling at an institution was not the norm and I am suggesting we rethink everything we currently know about traditional brick and mortar schools. Even for those who can get through the top down, rote style didactic learning and achieve high marks in a subject, it doesn't mean that this passive recipient style of providing information is even close to optimal. Teaching to the test creates an atmosphere of outcome based performance within a high stakes, anxiety producing context that is the antithesis of meaningful learning and is destroying our youth. If we are to prepare our children for the ever evolving, unknown future then antiquated sub par methods of information dissemination will need to change. </div>
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Standards based education is ruining the way educators teach and children learn. Education should not be about teaching to the next level in education and vocation and yet, that is exactly what our current school system is designed to do. <b>Our goal should be to foster a love of learning for learning sake</b>. Learning is not something that we should force onto our children to ensure they go to college and get a good job.<b>True learning is intrinsically motivated and the reward is knowledge</b>. Filling in bubbles as a yardstick of achievement is a poor measure of knowledge acquisition. As parents and educators we should support independence and foster divergent thinking which is essential for out of the box thinkers. We need to inspire children to explore their world, follow their interests, think for themselves, ponder ideas, question everything, create and produce. </div>
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Self directed learning is a necessary component of education and yet there is little emphasis on this in both public and private schools. Here and there one will hear about a pilot program that addresses the power of autodidactic learning but it is infrequently assimilated as a pedagogical alternative to traditional education. <b>Our teachers are stuck within the confines of a system that no longer serves our children</b>. In its inception, fact driven accumulation and regurgitation served a purpose as did punctuality, direction following, obedience and conformity. This was back during the Industrial Age when factory workers needed a place to send their progeny so that they, too, could gain employment within factories. We are in the Digital Age where most factoids are searchable in real time as necessary. There no longer is a need to memorize disjointed, a la carte facts and call that learning. Memorization is a useful skill but in and of itself it is not demonstrative of thinking and learning. What one is capable of doing with that information is more relevant. Someone who engages in rote learning may give the wrong impression of having understood what they have written or said. By definition, rote learning repudiates comprehension, so by itself it is an ineffective tool in mastering any complex subject at an advanced level. </div>
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People love to talk about the importance of problem solving and critical thinking skills yet most schools do nothing to foster this. Our educational system is built on the premise that the adult teacher has all the information which he or she will impart onto the child who will then show that he has mastered the grade level material by filling in answer choices where the test provides you with the desired answer. So, just when is a child supposed to engage in critical thinking or problem solving? I remember my kid reflecting on his days in school and quoting Jim Davis' Garfield comic where John is putting food into Garfield's mouth and Garfield says: "Today I will be chewing my own food." We don't need to give children all the answers then grade them on how well they retell that very same information. In another context we might refer to that as plagiarism. <b>Children need time to figure things out on their own</b>. Imagine providing children with the tools to learn in a prepared environment and then giving them the freedom to explore and experience that environment driven solely by their own curiosity. No adult agenda. No coercion. No instructions on how to use said tools. Open ended discovery. </div>
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We want our children to thrive and possibly change the world and improve lives and yet we don't allow for curiosity to grow and develop in our children. Adults are most useful in a child's life when they expose them to ideas, provide resources and then <b>allow children the freedom to let their imaginations wander in a supportive environment</b>. The imagination that children espouse is a beautiful and often short lived characteristic that is rarely embraced in the context of a classroom. The importance of unstructured, pleasure driven learning should not be understated. Children will have plenty of time to learn skills necessary for their future adult life. <b>Give children freedom</b>, support their curiosity, let them make choices and watch them experience organic learning which evolves effortlessly. </div><div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b><br></b></div><div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>Learning is an all day experience</b> which doesn't need to be pigeonholed into a specific set of content areas, for a prescribed amount of time, in one specific environment, within a narrowly defined approach which is then measured and evaluated extrinsically. Learning does not have to line up with traditional school subjects or lead to future pursuits for it to be worthwhile. There are so many areas one can explore; however, not all children need to be well rounded in terms of what they learn despite prevalent thought. Exposure to many disciplines is wonderful but we do not need a society solely made up of generalists. Allow your child to be a specialist who learns deeply and see how they fluorish when they are in the driver's seat of their own education. What children are passionate about presently may be short lived or it may become their lifelong direction. Either way, they are experiencing so many valuable moments in their self discovery. Pushing adult expectations onto children even if well intended does nothing to shape a positive self image and certainly does not instill self confidence. A child who can follow their chosen interests and learn independently will have the world at their fingertips. It is infinitely more useful to be able to think critically, brainstorm ideas and figure out how to solve problems then it is to be able to recite a list of facts. </div><div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><br></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-18071138433761879212013-12-01T17:45:00.001-08:002014-09-19T21:16:18.397-07:00Gifted Intensity: Enthusiasm and Heartbreak<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">September 10 was a day L had been looking forward to for weeks. He is aware of, and eagerly anticipates, all Apple events and the day I am writing about was the September 10, 2013 Apple Special Event. He had been talking about this event for weeks, planning for it, researching, blogging about expected releases, providing tech reviews and all in all obsessing about it. This is just who he is. I get it. I am similar; however, sometimes I am startled by the all encompassing focus.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We were all aware of the event and that we would not be leaving the house during the livestream. Imagine if I had to try and coerce this kid to go to school...that would be a power struggle not worth having. I am not much for coercion based anything.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The kid was up at the crack of dawn gearing up for it. At 7am he announced that he was going to watch the Apple World Wide Developer Conference (WWDC) 2013 before the 10am livestream. He was in prep mode for the big event. We were all together watching the WWDC 2013 on our new Apple TV until about 9:55. In five minutes the live event would be starting. Excitement was in the air. This is the level of interest he has in all things tech, and in particular, Apple special events and product launches.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">10:03 rolls around and NO LIVESTREAM. The panic starts to set in. Disbelief, uncertainty, frustration but L will not give up on looking for the livestream. Painful moments later, reality sets in that it is 10:09 and there is no livestream and all his hopes and expectations for today have been shattered. Disappointment is an understatement. This feels like everything...like a life shattering event with no silver lining and no hope that it will be available to him for future viewing. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This is not a little thing and it is not going to roll off his back. </span></span>He is inconsolable and out of sorts. The devastation is palpable and soul crushing. An hour later he is still thinking about how impossibly wrong it is that Apple didn't livestream the event. He starts comparing this event to Samsung's Galaxy Note III live event on September 4, 2013. He starts questioning his loyalty to Apple despite being a hardcore Apple enthusiast. This betrayal/revenge type thinking is nothing new. This is just a glimpse into how his emotional intensity manifests. </span></span><br>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hours later, upon the realization that Apple decided to release the the livestream online he was ecstatic. The emotional rollercoaster ride he was on today turned out positively for him and all Apple fans. He was jumping around doing a happy dance exclaiming:</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">"I am sorry, I cannot contain my excitement."</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The mourning is over. The rush of positive energy permeates the room. Emotional intensity is not for the faint of heart. The trickiest part is understanding a perspective so vastly different from your own. Both of my kids are extremely high in emotional overexcitability and each of them demonstrates their intensity in disparate ways. My boys are a lot to take in and we, as a family, are </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">extreme.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Emotional intensity runs rampant in our home and I am pretty sure five year old S is the heavy weight champ of emotional intensity. Nothing is small. Every slight is overwhelmingly heartbreaking. Each discrepancy between what ought to be and what is manifests as an all encompassing, devastating blow. Everything has meaning. Highs and lows. You just never know which one it will be. S keeps us on our toes and we must always be prepared. Anticipation is essential.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Emotional overexcitability (OE) is demonstrated by intensified feelings and emotions. Emotional OE is often the first to be noticed by parents. It is reflected in heightened, intense feelings, extremes of complex emotions, identification with others’ feelings, and strong affective expression (Piechowski, 1991). Other manifestations include physical responses like stomachaches and blushing or concern with death and depression (Piechowski, 1979). Emotionally overexcitable people have a remarkable capacity for deep relationships; they show strong emotional attachments to people, places, and things (Dabrowski & Piechowski, 1977). They have compassion, empathy, and sensitivity in relationships. Those with strong emotional OE are acutely aware of their own feelings, of how they are growing and changing, and often carry on inner dialogs and practice self-judgment (Piechowski, 1979, 1991). Children high in Emotional OE‚ are often accused of “overreacting.” Their compassion and concern for others, their focus on relationships, and the intensity of their feelings may interfere with everyday tasks. In a nutshell, one's intensity, though hard to live with, is actually an integral part of a child's future positive development. </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: inherit; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: small;">Accept all feelings, regardless of intensity. For people who are not highly emotional, this seems particularly odd. They feel that those high in Emotional OE are just being melodramatic. But if we accept their emotional intensity and help them work through any problems that might result, we will facilitate healthy growth. Teach individuals to anticipate physical and emotional responses and prepare for them. Emotionally intense people often don’t know when they are becoming so overwrought that they may lose control or may have physical responses to their emotions. Help them to identify the physical warning signs of their emotional stress such as headache, sweaty palms, and stomachache. By knowing the warning signs and acting on them early, individuals will be better able to cope with emotional situations and not lose control. (Sharon Lind, Overexcitability and the Gifted, SENG newsletter, 2001, 1(1)3-6).</span></span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: inherit; font-size: small; line-height: 24px;"> For more information about the emotional needs of gifted children, please visit </span><a href="http://sengifted.org/" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: inherit; font-size: small; line-height: 24px;" target="_blank">SENG</a><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: inherit; font-size: small; line-height: 24px;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Emotional intensity is but one reason why we unschool our children. L's overexcitable needs, though pervasive across all five areas, are easily met through self directed learning with no limitation on his intensive focus in desired areas as well as no restriction on his need to move about like a hummingbird. S, on the other hand, needs to feel intense love and understanding to feel happy and he requires constant loving contact from me. Close emotional and physical proximity to mom is an important part of his day. Without the feeling of emotional connection to me he feels empty and glum. His emotional intensity scares me. Depression and suicidal thoughts are not uncommon for profoundly gifted individuals and for a kid as emotionally volatile as S it is something we remain acutely aware of and try to discuss openly in a developmentally appropriate manner. Open communication is imperative when engaging with my children. Pandering is futile and unwelcome. </span></span></div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-43878355133296217822013-11-15T11:46:00.002-08:002013-11-15T11:48:52.894-08:00Nurturing the Gifted Mind: Intellectual OverexcitabilitiesThere are so many aspects to a gifted child not the least of which is their mind. I mean, that is the part most people think about when they hear the term, "gifted." The term itself irks people and conjures up thoughts of elitism which is unfortunate because the neurological difference with being gifted doesn't correlate in any way to social class or status. I won't get on my soap box about the fallacies of gifted myths (in this blog post); however, I will talk to you a little bit about the gifted intellect coupled with intellectual overexcitability (OE). Intellectual overexcitablity is characterized by a propensity to ask probing questions, to solve problems, to learn, and to think theoretically. This might involve a capacity for sustained intellectual effort, avid reading, detailed planning, introspection, and thinking about thinking. <br />
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Being gifted means many things and a sharp intellect is certainly one of them. Since my blog is a combination of all things gifted and unschooling inspired by my kids, I will talk about intellectual overexcitability within the context of our unschooling world and my first child, L, who is incredibly high in intellectual OE. <br />
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L, who just turned ten, is brimming with intellectual overexcitability. He requires intellectually stimulating conversation at all times which is hard to find within his age group. This is maybe the hardest part about being so advanced intellectually...finding true peers close in age that can match his intellectual desire for depthful communication. So far we have not found anyone. For awhile it didn't seem to be much of a priority for him as he was so uniquely focused on his work. Recently, he has been expressing a desire for friends as he is experiencing loneliness. He is definitely not depressed but he has a newfound desire to connect with someone other than, well, me and superficial friendships will not serve him well.<br />
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Intellectual OE is what drives a gifted child to voraciously learn, absorb and assimilate information with a degree of intensity and focus that is unsurpassed by anything else including basic human needs like food and hygiene. Intellectual OE could be likened to the hyper focus that people describe as a component of ADHD or ASD. It may appear similar as many gifted traits also seem to mirror symptoms of many pathologies; however, for the gifted child high in intellectual OE the drive to learn, create and produce is omnipresent. It doesn't appear here and there with a specific interest but rather is all encompassing. It is fascinating to experience the fervent creativity and motivation that L espouses which I wish would rub off on the rest of us. My kid inspires me to write more, create more and think outside of the box. He is a child who never complains of boredom or states that he has nothing to do. His biggest issue is that he has so many interests, ideas and projects and not enough time in the day. There are myriad evergreen projects at various stages of priority and development and new ideas abound constantly. It is an intense life but it is never dull.<br />
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Not all gifted kids are high in intellectual OE as you might otherwise expect. On the flip side there are many gifted kids who have high intellectual ability but lack the internal drive and motivation to do something with their complex minds. I have seen the effects of underachievement in gifted kids due to a combination of perfectionism, anxiety and a lack of motivation. Oftentimes gifted kids are not the stereotypical high achievers especially within a school context. If you take traditional academics with an emphasis on convergent thinking out of the equation, then you just may witness a child flourish when they are able to tap into their capacity for divergent thinking. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibmJRUYgWWAX3AklU_HLE69IywYFh2qm4A5AJ5W16IMxCe8OGbJE2HeoYTglKNHmR8uHVo-4RN1t1ZLY0CBJC4UgPbuwVYNib8H_6JNjww0hYDJ9gZFvgEE1w4d_85ZCXkrMlXNV2cqV4/s1600/941951_10200719119847831_694609066_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibmJRUYgWWAX3AklU_HLE69IywYFh2qm4A5AJ5W16IMxCe8OGbJE2HeoYTglKNHmR8uHVo-4RN1t1ZLY0CBJC4UgPbuwVYNib8H_6JNjww0hYDJ9gZFvgEE1w4d_85ZCXkrMlXNV2cqV4/s200/941951_10200719119847831_694609066_n.jpg" width="200" /></a>As a radical unschooler to two very different types of gifted children, I put zero emphasis on traditional academic learning and instead maintain a prepared environment that is proliferated with general critical thinking apparatus without an emphasis on accumulating facts and trivia. Time spent on critical thinking, problem solving, design, inductive and deductive reasoning, creation, metathinking, building, tinkering, reading, technology, hacking, software development, media, self-expression and social outlets for freeplay encapsulate our days. That, and numerous trips to mobile device stores.<br />
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Sure, through the various mediums the kids are exposed to history, science, math, physics, philosophy, poetry, social psychology, politics, neuroscience, economics and more but there is no set plan for any day in terms of what we will learn. Mostly, my kids learn through life and the conversations spawned by actual events. Organic, real world living provide the scaffolding upon which I expound to give meaning and context to the situation. I tend to call many of these discussions "life lessons" which often have nothing to do with academics and more to do with how to thrive in the real world. The biggest lesson we focus on generally is "know who you are." Know what your needs are, where your strengths lie and what accommodations your weaker areas may need to set yourself up for success regardless of the situation. We focus on evaluating pros, cons and potential outcomes based on the choices we are given. I foster and embrace the idea of maintaining authenticity and staying true to one's beliefs regardless of conventional thought. <br />
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With intense intellectual curiosity being pervasive throughout our day it is only natural that we go off on many tangents while engaged in meaningful discussion. L and I each have an insatiable need for rapid, elaborate conversation which is overwhelming for many. L is a kid who speaks intelligently about so many ideas usually reserved for adult professionals and he is oftentimes more well versed in current industry practice than I am. He stays informed up to the minute in terms of technology and enjoys sharing all his knowledge with me throughout the day. Most people's head spin after about 10 minutes with him. We have many brainstorming sessions about our respective entrepreneurial ideas and branding objectives. This taps into and engages the complex mind as it gives free unrestricted access to think about thinking...a hallmark of intellectual OE. L independently engages in thought experiments as he plays out different scenarios in his mind in an effort to problem solve and expand upon his creativity. He has theories about so many concepts that most of us never take time to contemplate. He lets his mind wander and pontificate in unusual ways...this is not something that can necessarily be taught but is inherent in a highly creative, gifted child and it should be embraced no matter how crazy the ideas are. <br />
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Of all the quirks and overexcitabilities that go hand-in-hand with giftedness, intellectual OE is probably the easiest to understand and work with; however, it still can be quite exhausting mentally for a mere mortal. If my kid is a reflection of me, and I think he is, I can understand why I am so hard to take at times.<br />
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For guidance and educational alternatives for gifted children please visit: <a href="http://atypicalminds.com/">http://atypicalminds.com</a></div>
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Follow me @amygharrington </div>
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Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-4780030402451290362013-11-08T20:56:00.001-08:002013-11-11T05:32:26.578-08:00Holiday Tips and Tricks for High Maintenance Introverts<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></div>We are a family of incredibly strong personalities with even stronger opinions about everything and we are in your face about it. My husband is socially reserved and introverted. I take on the social burden of my family as I am capable of being socially engaged despite being intense. My boys are different. They are all wild cards that do not appreciate what the holidays mean to most people. They may be polite, thoughtful and engaged or they may act like crazy little kooks with no way to anticipate which version of their personality will be displayed. We sometimes forewarn the kids about grandparental expectations and try to guide them as to how to get through the holidays with relative ease. What we are unable to do is make our kids perform in an artificial manner just to appear obedient. They are individuals who sometimes make us look like our parenting choices are too lax. I do not love it when they represent themselves as wild children; however, we have cultivated a family dynamic that allows for freedom of expression even when that expression is both annoying and embarrassing which it sometimes is.<div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTZgNbcFlX1Ey0M2cpo9mwrZK8soRNzipjbAZdrV0RXtUxzQqMYb1BQjpd6RXz8NOq6FprJmEDx6Z7I-wETvMo4XI7ILW5RSVXIdX3bJX8i3cJ87_LZDXJgYIopoWaSIZd51cgsfcIuqI/s640/blogger-image--1908721667.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTZgNbcFlX1Ey0M2cpo9mwrZK8soRNzipjbAZdrV0RXtUxzQqMYb1BQjpd6RXz8NOq6FprJmEDx6Z7I-wETvMo4XI7ILW5RSVXIdX3bJX8i3cJ87_LZDXJgYIopoWaSIZd51cgsfcIuqI/s640/blogger-image--1908721667.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div> </div><div>We hit up two houses on most holidays in an effort to see as many grandparents and great grandparents as possible. The drive is long, the day is tiring and I am the only one who actually enjoys the holiday spread. I am a small person with a huge appetite so doubling up on calorie rich food in one day is no problem for me. I make grandmas happy in that respect. My five year old, S, is adventurous enough to try some of the food but I cannot say the same for my ten year old, L, or my husband. Such selective eaters those two. Doubling up on two feasts with high maintenance appetites adds an uncomfortable element when grandma is all about cooking in general, and Thanksgiving in particular. She has been prepping for weeks already and would like nothing more than to watch her great grandkids enjoy her hard work in the kitchen but no such luck. Every year is the same...great grandma repeatedly tries to offer up food to my boys that they are not interested in and she is relentless. The kids feel uncomfortable being put on the spot and I have to intervene as I am the parent and our lifestyle choices and freedom follow us. My kids are not forced to eat food which they do not want. Usually, hubby eats a hearty meal in advance and I end up making a bowl of pasta for L while everyone else enjoys turkey and stuffing. We customize Thanksgiving so no one's mood is affected by hunger and lack of relevant food choices. The Harrington boys go from hungry to headache quickly if they do not get their highly specific food needs met. This is a fun part of many days.<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>The hardest part of bringing our circus into other people's homes (even family) is that who we are and what our lifestyle is, appears very different and confusing even to our closest family and friends. It has been awhile now since we started respecting the uniqueness of my oldest child's need to learn independently. It started with his academic needs that were not being met but it has evolved into so much more. Our entire lifestyle and thinking has evolved and we only get more extreme as we continue down this path. Even those that understand why we are unschooling L, still question me about S and what he is learning. L exudes prodigious ability, vast knowledge and superior abstract thinking...his brilliance is palpable. At five, S is coming into his own but he does not display the in your face intellectual gymnastics the way his brother does, so no one appreciates why we would choose to unschool him as well. What they do not get is that we no longer believe in the concept of school as we all know it. I do not believe in compulsory schooling or forcing kids to learn and do that which does not enrich them authentically. These are the ideas that permeate our way of living. Most of the family members on both sides are fairly traditional rule followers who tow the line, send their kids to school and do not question the arbitrary path of what is normal and expected. I wonder when our collective family will truly understand what we are doing. My brother thinks I am insane. I think it is insane to send a neuroatypical child to a big public school to fend for himself amongst a large group of typical kids...but that is just me.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>The thing is, when we are at great grandma's house the cousins are there too which adds more noise and frenetic energy. L and I love playing with my little 2 year old niece while the 5 and 6 year old boys create reasonable havoc. The rambunctiousness goes over less well with my mom these days. Her tolerance for loud and rowdy children has become non existent. Great grandma just turns down the hearing aid and focuses her attention toward the main attraction...the meal. Her meals are perfection and authentically American. These Thanksgiving nights have the ability to be highly enjoyable and oftentimes are; however, they are also pretty exhausting as some family members create stress instead of harmony. The personality quirks and control issues are so deep and varied that they defy all boundaries of "normal." Welcoming friends to our Thanksgiving dinners used to be about including those that didn't have family nearby. Now, we invite other families as a distracting buffer from the clashing personalities. <span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Fortunately, digital devices and a new book help to make the time pass while adults linger at the table. I am pretty sure my mom did the same for me back in the day. I remember getting some new present on each big family holiday, probably to keep me occupied.</span><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "> We shouldn't have to rely on technology or something novel but with a house full of chaos, creating some quiet, non destructive fun for the kids proves essential.</span></div></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">The hardest part for me, other than managing all the personality quirks, is that I really want pictures of all our family craziness. Not for craziness sake, but great grandma is 94, my mom is getting older and I would like to have some memories of what our life is like. The problem is, rarely will both kids cooperate in terms of taking pictures which, in turn, makes me anxious that I am missing key moments in their life, and then no one wants to participate in picture time. These eventful holiday get togethers are going to wane when the matriarch is no longer here to get us to all come together in one home for a family meal. Documenting these moments is very important to me. Holiday pictures are the one time that I may resort to bribing as much as I hate to admit it. The power of great grandma's chocolate pot de creme could turn my kids into cooperative, smiling children...at least for a moment. The photos may be a little forced but they usually get into the spirit enough that they are not entirely inauthentic. That is enough for me. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiabvcqyhwqNQYdxVes5JClydswaMna4UeKSefOZbW157JGwl6oZwf-J3gwmUyzxBTuNWbpViQtHe1zcWL99Ta70k72yeZk698Ph1GQ7MgmRnhjHpYBBKxzv5VDGNM7w2Z66CqQiL8HzWc/s640/blogger-image--1612568013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiabvcqyhwqNQYdxVes5JClydswaMna4UeKSefOZbW157JGwl6oZwf-J3gwmUyzxBTuNWbpViQtHe1zcWL99Ta70k72yeZk698Ph1GQ7MgmRnhjHpYBBKxzv5VDGNM7w2Z66CqQiL8HzWc/s640/blogger-image--1612568013.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Holiday time brings joy to many people. For us it is a cacophony of polar personalities who are stretched to their limits under the notion that we should all be thankful for an abundance of food that some of us do not enjoy. </span></div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Follow me:</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">@amygharrington</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">This blog post is part of a blog hop on how to survive the holiday season with gifted children. For more participating blogs: </span><a href="http://goo.gl/V34SzX">http://goo.gl/V34SzX</a></div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisEWe9nmZm3iAHRmS0cR3TvP6aAFNnBZCaVl1x9m2lvBaFQIaM1fuzIoPbqEwmv-ptyX9Uxl2wx4maabuYvc9XyjK94hlrbfQpe9X2h0-e2TXNZ_rmkiJIBUflQ5OhSoa9LYH1gxFcXa8/s640/blogger-image-1142657094.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisEWe9nmZm3iAHRmS0cR3TvP6aAFNnBZCaVl1x9m2lvBaFQIaM1fuzIoPbqEwmv-ptyX9Uxl2wx4maabuYvc9XyjK94hlrbfQpe9X2h0-e2TXNZ_rmkiJIBUflQ5OhSoa9LYH1gxFcXa8/s640/blogger-image-1142657094.jpg"></a></div> </div></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4206969031316644878.post-54665875206624912532013-11-06T16:55:00.000-08:002013-11-07T17:37:35.895-08:00Don't Punish Kids & Don't Punish TechnologyOne problem with having a super techie hacker kid is that he, and by some extension I, get blamed for all technological problems if my kid is in the vicinity. Even if he is nowhere in the geographic area but had previously been nearby some technology, I may get a call or text days later with my son being everyone's prime suspect for the glitchy disturbance. My son has become everyone's scapegoat for anything tech related that goes wrong. <br>
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<div>I will demonstrate with a real life example that just happened. A good friend of mine had a complete freakout that my kid and her 11 year old texted an adult friend of the family on the 11 year old's iPad. Because of their own decision to have adult texts appear on their kid's iPad, the kid was privvy to his dad's texts to which he responded in a misguided effort to stand up for his mom. The kid was being heroic in his mind, I am sure. It was childlike, silly and completely harmless. The immediate response was to blame my kid for the entire miscommunication in texting and to remove technology completely from their lives as if that is the best and only response to the matter. <span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);">It was </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">also a total aberration from how my son utilizes technology and therefor his participation seemed unlikely. T</span><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">his type of situation has happened a few times recently with today's experience culminating in some tears shed over the power of technology. My kid and I could not get out of there fast enough...it was just too much pressure to stand up for media and technology on a lazy Sunday afternoon. </span></div><div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">O</span>kay, to each his own. I don't really care about how other people utilize or shun technology and I am fine with a tech free play date as well. What I am getting tired of is having to defend my child for other people's choices or digital limitations. My kid knows the parameters of social media and understands how to use technology responsibly. I do not monitor or censor what my child does with technology because we do not need to. He uses technology to program, create and learn and he uses it well. </div>
<div><br></div><div>I was shocked to realize that my rather enlightened friend and I approach parenting so very differently. Aside from the fact that we are a family that thoroughly embraces technology and appreciates it's positives, our approach to how we talk to our kids when an issue arises is so very different than some families. My son and I discussed the texting situation calmly with no threat of punitive action and therefor no need to lie. Anything my kid told me would <span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">not have resulted in removal of access to any technology. </span>I do not withhold his passion and I do not punish my kids.</div><div><br></div><div>My friend, on the other hand, freaked out, like, over the top, losing her mind, yelling at me, standing over her cowering child with her 6'2" husband nearby as they cornered the kid and grilled him in an accusatory manner about the events that transpired...who did what and when. Of course he felt like he needed to lie about who wrote the innocuous texts because he was truly backed into a corner. I felt the kid's confusion, anxiety and fear for making a reasonable mistake that got immediately blown out of proportion. The tension was palpable. My friend was blaming my kid, shaming her own kid and throwing media and technology under the proverbial bus. </div><div><br></div><div>The whole scene was explosive and negative and her child learned that 1) technology is evil and 2) lying is better than telling the truth. I just kept reassuring my child that everything was okay and we discussed how words have impact, context is not always clear in quick texts and that digital writing is indelible. </div><div><br></div><div>I prefer our life lesson discussions to punitive measures. I just do not get the point in punishing or demoralizing a child for an innocent mistake? If we never make mistakes then how will we ever learn? Learning and talking about the impact of our choices equals growth and development. Aren't we supposed to guide our children through life and teach them how to navigate the twists and turns that come our way? Punishing a child for making a mistake will do nothing to foster truth and openness in the parent-child relationship. I do not expect children to be perfectly behaved and faultless...I do not expect that of adults either. We strive to have well adjusted children who can make their own choices, appreciate the impact of those choices, learn, grow, speak openly and live authentically. </div>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Whether you shield technology from your child's life is up to you but if you actually addressed social media protocols and internet safety rather than pretending that we are not living in the digital age, then your child may actually be able to navigate technology and the changing world efficiently. </span>Parenting styles differ, lifestyle choices are personal, but please stop blaming my kid for the power of technology.</div><div><br></div>
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Rant over.<br>
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<br>Amy Harringtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11952182935124069654noreply@blogger.com0