Unschooling 101

I knew early on my kid was gifted. It was obvious just as it must be for everyone with a neuroatypical child. What I did not realize was that eventually our entire lives would change. We moved to a neighborhood intentionally for the charter public school with good test scores. That is how naive I was just a handful of years ago. I thought my son's incredible intellect meant that school would be easy for him. And, back then I guess I thought easy was a good thing? Needless to say I was CLUELESS. He spent several wasted years in classrooms with nice teachers and one horrific one. The classes were filled with 26 kids most of which were neurotypical and a few neuroatypical kids and their shadows sprinkled in. What I did not realize then was that giftedness does not just mean smart and it certainly does not mean high achieving in school and it definitely does not mean compliant and teacher pleasing. It took one great teacher and a smaller classroom at a progressive private school for me to really understand where all the behavioral issues were stemming from. The complete boredom of the easy curriculum that taught him nothing, the forced assignments that did not mean anything to him coupled with finite structure that forced him to stop thinking about math right at noon because it was time to eat, the forced socialization on the playground when he really wanted to read the latest book in his favorite series. His sense of humor and vocabulary that is so advanced that age peers cannot relate, his high set morals, fairness, justice and empathy that do not fare well during recess games of master and servant played by his classmates...this all makes the socialization amongst age peers cruel and unusual. And yet, this is the main criticism that arises upon mention of being a homeschooler. His soul and psyche were becoming tarnished in the artificial environment we call school.



Enter, homeschooling. I was not the mom who had ever had homeschooling on my radar. I wish I was. I wholeheartedly believe in it now. More importantly, I embrace unschooling which is completely child led and for us means no canned curriculum, no forced learning, no adult agenda and no structure. This complete lack of structure permeates our whole day aside from just academics...this is what makes us radical unschoolers.  My kids decide when they are hungry and what they will eat and bedtime is also their choice. Believe it or not they know when they are hungry and when they are tired. We do not have battles over bedtime.  This is not to say that I do not influence my kids at all. There are times that I have to remind them to take a bath or that it is getting late but it is not my way or the highway.  I laid the foundation early on for them to make solid choices in life and to appreciate the consequences of their actions.  They mostly make great choices about their own health and well being and they look out for each other.  Is this not an important skill to have a balanced lifestyle?  For us this method works beautifully. My kids are happier, more engaged, inspired and they are learning all day long. Occasionally, I question this complete freedom that I have provided to my kids to be in charge of their learning and to make their own choices in life...but second guessing myself dissipates rather quickly when I witness their creative endeavors.

Creativity is vital to learning and yet it is stripped from children when they are in school. Creativity isn't nurtured with an after school enrichment class offered once a week.  Unschooling gives children the opportunity to think, play, create, problem solve and experience the world holistically. It can seem like an overwhelming thought to enter into this kind of endeavor at first but it is enlightening once you start.



Unschooling may not happen all at once and it didn't for us.  You can start slowly by deschooling a child who has been in school. The general guideline for deschooling is one month per one year spent in school. This is by no means a hard and fast rule but if you test out letting your child decide what they want to do and support their passions, chances are you will see your child blossom and learn their way in a short period of time.  If unschooling is still too loose of a style for you and your family you can always sprinkle in academics in a non pressured filled way and see how they respond. Each unschooling family finds their way and I am sure no two are alike. Your unschooling will likely evolve over time and may be different for each child within your family.  As you watch what works and what doesn't you will also likely elicit what learning style and methods are most effective.  I am lucky in that my son figured out how he learns best on his own. It then became even clearer to me why school was such a mismatch for him.  As an unschooling parent you are the facilitator who guides and supports your child and the journey will likely bring you closer together and you may learn a thing or two yourself!  Trust your instincts, trust your child, and by all means do not think homeschooling has to mean buying an all-in-one curriculum.  You also do not have to emulate the exact curriculum standards that schools do.  There are many things to learn about and many ways to learn about them.  Let your child guide you as to what appeals to him/her and then foster that learning.