Let's face it. Staying at home most of the day with your kids does not always allow for a lot of me time when you are a hands on mom. I think I have a little more free time as an unschooler with self-directed children but they still need to eat...a lot. Most of my day feels like it is catering to a lot of hunger. Each kid needs food every other hour and their hunger is not in sync. L needs an entire meal every two hours and S could eat fruit non stop. I swear my day is about preparing and serving food followed by reminding everyone to put their dishes in the sink. In between the kids' hunger are my two kitties sitting by their food bowl patiently waiting for me. Needless to day, I spend a unique amount of time in the kitchen. You would think that I cook a lot; however, sadly I am more of an assembler of healthy foods than a chef.
I have learned to embrace our very different lifestyle and sprinkle in that which I need to in order to keep the homelife running smoothly. We spend an inordinate amount of time at home due to various needs so sometimes going to yoga is my only chance of leaving the house and being around other people which, as a part-time extravert, I need. This is a house with split needs in terms of the introversion - extraversion quotient and we try to take everyone's personality and needs to heart in terms of how we enjoy our lives.
Today it was a good day. I started back at yoga after a three month hiatus. Yoga is what I do for myself. It is absolute alone mommy and me time that is an all around cure for an exhausting day. Most days my head is spinning with mental overstimulation based on my very verbose and intellectually taxing children so yoga serves as a great release. For me, yoga is a meditative experience that happens to also be good for my body, inside and out. I get to focus on breath work which is calming and vital to health, I work on balance, physically which becomes balance, mentally and in order to balance I have to tap into my strength and flexibility of body and mind. If your alone time is limited then taking an hour and a half a few times a week to find something that can tap into both body and mind is well worth the time and energy. I have rarely left a yoga class and thought that it was not time well spent. I am always happier all around and a happy mom is a good mom.
When I am not in yoga and need time to myself, I am either reading my latest non fiction book or taking a way too long candle lit, aromatherapy bath with a glass of wine, an iDevice, or a book. I have turned bath taking into a meditative yet multitasking experience. Do not underestimate the power of deep breathing as a way to calm and center yourself which can be done at any time of day and is a soothing tool for kids to acquire as well.
I find that as long as I am engaged in something with focused attention then my kids find their own way and we are all taking care of our needs in the moment. We all like to do our own thing in close proximity to each other but we are all interested in very different activities. Fortunately, the freedom and flexibility that we have created for ourselves as unschoolers provides each of us with ample alone-together time to pursue our specific endeavors.
Today just happened to be one of those rare days where yoga served every need that I had and my body and mind cooperated throughout. Whenever I return home renewed from a great class, I am nicer to my kids, we have all had a chance to miss each other and everyone has been able to do their own thing. Today, in my absence, L worked on JavaScript and S was very creative with Magformers (a work in progress pictured below).
Carving out a moment for oneself is essential as a stay-at-homeschool parent as we all need time to recharge regardless of whether you seek it out as a solo proposition, or if you prefer recharging within a social context. I tend to need a little of both but for right now, yoga and ridiculously long baths while perusing social media are essential to the well being of everyone around me.
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